It is now day 6 without power and essentials for most of NJ. And for those among us lucky enough to thankfully avoid major damage to our homes, you’re either discovering the lost art of mouth-to-mouth communication or annoying immediate family members when you’re not cleaning.
But for political junkies and humorists like myself, not being able to discuss, cover, and lampoon the election has been tantamount to a sports writer not being able to cover the Superbowl. Even though N.J. has historically served as a landslide state and political ATM state, where party nominees drop in on the state only to garner donations for its campaign coffers from the state's vastly wealthy citizens and interest groups, and where you pay to eat crap but get to buy access to the candidate and hopefully he remembers you (depends on the size of your donation), the whole country seems to be focusing not on the swing state of Ohio but New Jersey. Fuggetaboutit!
Christie said New Jersey residents could get their early voting done over the weekend at the county clerk's office because he ordered the offices to stay open in every county in the state over the weekend.
"Time on your hands? Tired of cleaning stuff up? Go there in person, you'll get a ballot, you vote and hand it in and you're done," he said in a press briefing from the town of Little Ferry.
And for those of you old enough to remember when elections had to be stolen by old-fashioned fraudulence such as ballot stuffing, butterfly ballots, and a misrecording of votes, it seems those former cottage industries could be open for business as Christie said paper ballots would be available on Election Day.
But according to Christie, the National Guard will protect trucks set up at these makeshift polling stations to enable voting.
And for those Joiseyians who want to vote (and you should so you get to complain but who are not sure where to vote on Election Day, residents are being urged to send a text message, starting Tuesday morning, to 877877 with their address and they’ll reportedly receive a response right away that contains their polling location.
"There's no reason why anybody shouldn't vote. We're going to have a full, fair, transparent, open voting process," Christie said.
So since New Jersey isn’t a swing state, here’s your chance to stick it to either candidate and vote however you want.
Michael Hayne is a comedian/VO artist/Columnist extraordinaire, who co-wrote an award-nominated comedy, wrote for NY Times Laugh Lines, guest-blogged for Joe Biden, and writes a column for MSNBC.com affiliated Cagle Media. Follow him on Twitter and Facebook.