Gov. Christie's Obama-bashing is a lot of fiction

Wednesday, 21 December 2011 18:41
hayneMichael080311_optBY MICHAEL HAYNE

NJ Gov. Christie is no stranger when it comes to shouting at opponents. Like an obnoxious driver in a SUV, cutting another motorist off while he negotiates a big gulp and sub sandwich in his lap, Christie is famed for brazenly running over anyone that gets in his way with reckless abandon.

Since Mitt Romney is mostly arguing with Mitt Romney from the 90s, Mitt Romney from the early 2000s and Mitt Romney from yesterday, the gargantuan governor and Romney surrogate appears to have taken on the role of political attack dog.

Taking questions from Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski just one week after sending Scarborough a text message complaining that the host was becoming too liberal, Christie bragged about his record of working with the Democratic legislature.

“Look at what we’ve gotten done,” he said. “2 percent property tax (cap). Interest arbitration cap, sweeping pension and benefit reform. All done in a bipartisan way. Did I get every bit of what I wanted? No.”

That’s a wonderful story, but unfortunately it falls under the category of fantasy/fiction.

While it is true that Christie has had to work with a Democratic legislature, he’s treated them in the same fashion as George Bush treated the then Democratic majority. From weakening medical marijuana laws, to gutting medicaid and defunding Planned Parenthood, to balking at major middle-class job creations like the ARC Tunnel and vigorously fighting to protect millionaire camping donors over alleviating property taxes for the middle class, Christie hasn’t really compromised anything but yet has managed to pretty much get everything.

“The governor speaks a good game," spokesman Tom Hester Jr . said, "but conveniently skips over the fact that a focal point of his tenure has been zealously protecting tax cuts for millionaires over property tax relief for middle class families and seniors. Working families have not been his priority.”

Fiction can be fun when you’re looking to entertain a room full of moviegoers in the summer, but it’s entirely different when you’re an elected official presiding over a state of more than 8 million people.

Taking fiction to a level that not even "Avatar" director James Cameron could imagine, Christie claimed Obama hasn’t faced nearly as much political opposition as he has in New Jersey.

“Obama is probably the weakest president I’ve seen in my lifetime,” he said, “I’ve had to face much tougher things in New Jersey from a political perspective than he has.”

Perhaps too many helicopter rides has severely altered the governor’s equilibrium, rendering him with amnesia. Barack Obama has faced a group of radicalized, hate-filled obstructionists who ascended to office by a group of miserably uninformed white people in weird costumes, and who seem to hate “big spelling” more than big government. Republicans have emphasized party strategy and brinkmanship, essentially doing anything and everything to ensure that the president fails and gets the blame.

Indeed, Obama’s biggest problem is he compromises way too much and, in trying to always extend an olive branch to group of man-children that are just not that into him, he assumes that he’s actually dealing with adults with a difference of opinion. Worse yet, Obama has had to devote so much time to cleaning up Bush’s economic mess that he could get an appearance on "Dirty Jobs," right next to the rat puckers and septic sludge divers. Some of President Obama’s decisions have shown too much restraint and lacked executive decisiveness, but he has always worked tirelessly with Republicans, and mostly at his own peril.

But unlike Christie, who’s a screaming empty barrel who makes the most noise, Obama speaks softly and carries a big stick. Just ask Donald Trump where making the most noise gets you.

Michael Hayne is a comedian/VO artist/Columnist extraordinaire, who co-wrote an award-nominated comedy, wrote for NY Times Laugh Lines, guest-blogged for Joe Biden, and writes a column for affiliated Cagle. Follow him (or yell) on Twitter and Facebook.


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