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Face it: Mitt Romney was a crappy Christmas sweater

hayneMichael080311_optBY MICHAEL HAYNE
NEWJERSEYNEWSROOM.COM
COMMENTARY

The election is over (just don't tell Karl Rove or Fox News that) and Americans voted for 4 more years of intransigent Republican obstructionism in Congress by voting for Obama. Mitt Romney is now spending time outsourcing his family and, hopefully, buying a personality with his $250 million. But it seems people still don't like Mitt and are readily 'disliking' him on Facebook faster than Fl. Gov. Rick Scott can disenfranchise a democratic voter.

According to Digital Journal, roughly 50,000 friends have jettisoned Mitt Romney on Facebook after he lost the election to President Barack Obama. In fact, Romney has been losing Facebook friends at an average rate of 847 friends per hour since Tuesday.

Let's face it here. Nobody ever liked Romney legitimately. Hell, Captain Capitalist was almost bested by a dude who’s last name you cannot search for while at work, and who thinks same-sex marriage will lead to man-dog marriage. In a sense, the Republican nomination process was a lot like slowly unwrapping a Christmas gift knowing full well that it would be a crappy Christmas sweater. So Mitt Romney was essentially a crappy Christmas sweater. He was like the spoiled rich kid who only had friends because they wanted to come over and play with all the cool toys his daddy bought him (like a car elevator). And things didn't appear to change, as Romney was busted not too long ago for actually buying "likes" on Facebook, which baffled and outraged many people who found themselves mysteriously a fan of Romney's Facebook page.

But now, people are legitimately "unliking" Mitt Romney as the Bill and Hillary marriage of convenience with him quickly evaporated once Romney lost, thus proving he was a bland, corporate mannequin. Moreover, a man who could not empathize with any demographic outside of his ridiculously narrow Republican voting bloc.

Even as the South (and the dumber parts of smart Union states) still thinks it won the civil war and has upped its miserably uninformed racist hatred of President Obama, Obama's Facebook likes have shot up to roughly 33 million, about 900,000 more than he had on the election night and about 21 million more than Romney ever had bought, or feigned the support out of blind hatred of Obama. Click here to see a real-time graph of Romney losing likes, which should really become an extreme sport.

Michael Hayne is a comedian/VO artist/Columnist extraordinaire, who co-wrote an award-nominated comedy, wrote for NY Times Laugh Lines, guest-blogged for Joe Biden, and writes a column for MSNBC.com affiliated Cagle Media. Follow him on Twitter and Facebook.

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