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Baron Fifth: "strong pedigree and distinctive approach give it appeal, but it's not a slam-dunk choice."

Baron Asset: "requires tolerance of its quirks, but it remains worthwhile ... High costs erode this fund's appeal, but we still like it."

Growth: "inconsistent relative returns over the short term, but we think seasoned management [Ron Baron himself] and a prudent approach make it a long-term winner."

Small Cap: a "fine fund."

If you can't make up your mind which to buy, if any, go for the fund where your current portfolio is light: small cap, mid cap, or large cap.

What a production! I got there at 10:30 on Oct. 23, and it's first-come, first-served. I wound up in the family circle – nosebleed territory. When I was a kid attending the opera, the family circle was all I could afford. Now, after a long and undistinguished career in journalism, I'm back in the family circle.

Dick, a friend of mine from Rockaway, took a train in ($10), got on line at 7:45 a.m., and wound up in the orchestra – but had to wait a long time to get in.

Getting in is no cinch. You must obtain a badge, which you must wear at all times; you must show picture identification. And after 11 a.m., no one can enter. I guess the people who run the shindig know that by 11 a.m., almost all the seats are filled.

During a question-and-answer period, by the way, someone daringly suggested that the funds' expenses be lowered. There was a small murmur of approval. Ron Baron himself answered: Shareholders buying $1 million or more of shares now get a break.

A shocked silence followed.

My very favorite part of the day: over lunch, listening to a rehearsal of "Don Giovanni" by singers form the New York City Opera in Alice Tully Hall. Young, strong voices. I chose this over rock-and-roll concerts. But I missed the mystery comedian, who turned out to be Jason Alexander, who received good reviews from people who heard him.

Will I attend next year's Baron conference? Probably. Next year, the entertainment will probably be a comedian, not some noisy rock-and-roller.

***

Also attending the shindig was Marylou Reeves, CFP, president of Thomas Mack Associates in Rockaway.

She was critical of the Baron funds' high costs. But, in its defense, she pointed out, "Baron hires incredibly smart people. And a huge bonus for me this year was having the opportunity to talk with Michael Kass, manager of Baron International Growth Fund. This new fund is very small, which gives it the nimbleness to go after any size company that fits it growth model. He gave me a brief description of his fund that was comprehensive but easy to grasp. Morningstar does not rate this new fund, but it's now on my radar screen to keep track of."

She added: "I am not a Rod Stewart fan, but the clients I was with loved him."

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