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BY CAROL ABAYA
NEWJERSEYNEWSROOM.COM
THE SANDWICH GENERATION
(First of two articles)
I'm always asked "What should I do first?" This question is coupled with a recently heard frustrated statement from a caregiver son, "I'm going to tell them I can't do it any more!"
Perhaps the answer to both of these comments is for sandwich generationers to think more about how you think.
Positive elder caregiving means a balance in life has been achieved. Everyone understands why chores have to be balanced in a busy life. But balance goes way beyond the physical tasks of caregiving. Emotional balance may be even more important and certainly is critical to a caregiver's health.
Recent studies show that anger can kill both the caregiver AND the elder. Both expressed and unexpressed anger and frustration build up inner emotional stress and over time can trigger major chronic and life threatening illnesses, including heart attacks, strokes, cancer, asthma, insomnia and even unexplainable pain. Emotional stress may shut down a person's immune system and the ability to fight off illness and disease.
Written by a husband and wife team, the book "How to Turn Anger Into Love," is a must read for stressed out caregivers. Mahmood Siddique is a professor of medicine at the University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey & Robert Wood Johnson Medical School. His wife, Reshimi, specializes in public health and health management.
The essence of the book is to help you:
(1) become aware of your anger feelings, and
(2) know how to use your body's energy for spiritual (emotional) development and well being.
Excerpts here put anger into a very interesting perspective and provide concrete ways to better understand yourself as a sandwich generationer and manage your anger, whether hidden or expressed. Elders can also benefit by better understanding their own feelings.
"If it is true that human beings are literally bundles of energy, whereby every thought and emotion has a physical impact, then the energy of resentment can easily take bodily expression in the form of cancer or other disease."
The Siddiques say that many killer diseases "may have nothing to do with diet and exercise. Treatment and prevention, therefore, need to consider spiritual and emotional healing as part of a comprehensive medical program."
In relation to heart disease, they say "anger releases chemicals known as catecholamines," which research shows can damage the heart muscle. In another study, "both men and women who suppressed their anger were at increased risk of developing heart disease compared to those who did not suppress their anger."
"The chance of getting a heart attack was almost three times greater for those with high anger compared to those who had low anger."
In relation to cancer, studies have suggested that "anger suppression may lead to increased levels of corticosteroids, which have shown to lead to a growth of cancerous cells."
More on anger and health next week.
The Sandwich Generation(R) is an interactive column. Readers should send their questions to Ms. Abaya via her Web site sandwichgeneration.com or e-mail her at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it . Questions will be answered directly or in this column. The words "The Sandwich Generation" are trademarked by Carol Abaya.
ALSO BY CAROL ABAYA
Intervene when seniors' safety is jeopardized
Be good to yourself in the new year
Gifts from the heart are best for grandma
