newjerseynewsroom.com

BY CAROL ABAYA

NEWJERSEYNEWSROOM.COM

THE SANDWICH GENERATION

New Year’s resolutions for 2012 can still be made.

YOUR very FIRST priority -- top on that chore list -- as an elder/parent caregiver MUST be yourself.

In her Christmas interview at the White House, Barbara Walters asked Michelle Obama what was her first priority as a busy First Lady, wife and mother.

Mrs. Obama’s answer was very simple. “Myself,” she said, “I put myself as top priority.” She went on to say she exercises regularly to relax and keep fit and makes sure she eats nutritionally.

Thank you Mrs. Obama for saying what I have been saying for years!

An elder caregiver cannot properly take care of a sick parent or spouse if she gets sick herself.

One woman I know insisted she could take care of her husband, who had Parkinsons, herself. She ended up in the hospital. Then she got a little help, but still insisted on doing must of the chores herself. She ended up in the

hospital again and almost died. Her children then stepped in, and the father was moved to a nursing home. Even then the wife spent most of every day at the facility.

How can a caregiver protect herself?

• Exercise at least three to five times a week -- take a walk, go to the gym or use a video for an exercise workout.

• Eat regularly with nutrition in mind. Cut down on sugars and carbs. Proteins, vegetables and fruits are most important.

• Go out at least once a week -- by yourself or meet a friend.

• Participate in an activity that relaxes or gives mental stimulation. Arts and crafts are ideal. Cards provide social interaction and mental stimulation.

• Go in a corner, close the door and read. Or just close your eyes and meditate. Listen to music -- can be calm, soft music or with a strong beat that gets you moving your body.

• Take regular vacations. Even a weekend away -- a new neutral environment -- helps revitalize you.

• Learn to say “no!” Don‘t jump to answer every button that is pushed. You didn’t for your child(ren). Don’t for an elder.

• Get help -- from everyone you can identify to share the chores --family, friends, community resources and services.

Look for my article “You Aren't Superwoman” which is on NewJerseyNewsroom.com

And remember: the role of a sandwich generation is to make sure the elder is properly and safely taken care of. No one says YOU have to do all.

The Sandwich Generation is reader interactive. Questions are welcome. Contact Carol Abaya via her website www.sandwichgeneration.com or e-mail This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .

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