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BY CAROL ABAYA
NEWJERSEYNEWSROOM.COM
THE SANDWICH GENERATION
Question: My mother, 86, has limited finances, but always wants to spend a lot of money on her eight grandchildren and three great grandchildren during the holidays. This year she is particularly short of cash. I can't convince her that she doesn't need to spend so much money. Any inexpensive ideas?
Answer: Two such gifts come to my mind that will always be valued. Several years ago, I found CD birthday cards which have 20 Original Hit Songs from the year a person was born. They are produced by the CDCard Company (www.cdcard.com) and are marvelous reminders of what music was "in" in the year the person was born. Young children can enjoy these CDs now because the music is current, and older people can relive their childhood days.
The second great gift takes time to put together, but is really inexpensive and the "doing" can bond generations together in a way expensive gifts just cannot. A Family Recipe book makes a great heirloom. While time may be short for this year's holidays, your mother can start this project now for next year. She can gather her own recipes and any she has from her parents and/or in-laws. She can also get everyone's favorites and put them together in a book. Copies can be made for everyone. Adults can receive them for a birthday or next year's holidays. And children can receive them now or when they are older.
Question: My mother, 80, lives in an assisted living residence and has everything she needs. We are at a loss at to what we should get her for the holidays.
Answer: Give her time. Your time. Give her a pledge card which says you will take her out to lunch (or someplace else she'll enjoy) at least a couple of times a month for the next year. And be sure to keep your pledge. Nothing is worth more than spending time with a family member.
The Sandwich Generation(R) is an interactive column. Readers should send their questions to Ms. Abaya via her Web site sandwichgeneration.com or e-mail her at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it . Questions will be answered directly or in this column. The words "The Sandwich Generation" are trademarked by Carol Abaya.
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