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BY PAM LOBLEY
NEWJERSEYNEWSROOM.COM
NOW THAT'S FUNNY
The Real Housewives of New Jersey buzz these days is all about Teresa Giudice. First, she was refusing to sign her new contract unless her salary is doubled. Reports have her making $3,000 per episode, and a look at her bankruptcy papers seem to bear this out. She also wants a cut of the DVD and merchandise sales – the network is selling t-shirts with Teresa's slogan "Happy Wife, Happy Life" on them for $24.95 a piece.
Teresa also wants to be free to make more paid personal appearances. She has been quoted as saying that she wants her salary to be more in line with what the Jersey Shore casts makes — they just signed for $30,000 an episode.
Then comes the news that the RHONJ is adding a new cast member for the upcoming season, and guess what? It's Teresa Guidice's sister-in-law, Melissa Gorga, as reported by RadarOnline.
Melissa Gorga is married to Teresa's brother, Guiseppe Gorga. The two first met when he hired her to do paperwork for him. Guiseppe started in landscaping and then made the move into real estate. I guess he is doing really well, because apparently Melissa is going to give Teresa a run for her money in the conspicuous consumption department.According to RadarOnline, a family friend has said that Melissa's house is twice the size of Teresa's and she is has two live-in nannies. They also report that the two women don't necessarily get along very well. To froth it up even further, Teresa's nephew, about whom she was wildly defensive and secretive during this week's reunion show, is actually Melissa's baby, according to www.lalate.com. When fellow NJ Housewife Danielle Staub, on the reunion show, asked Teresa "Have you acknowledged your nephew?" Teresa exploded. Obviously, the nephew is a sensitive issue.
Now, People Magazine is reporting that Teresa is laughing off rumors that her husband, "Juicy Joe" has fathered a love child. Teresa denies it all, and told the magazine that she and her husband are "amazing together." She claims she loves his body, loves his muscles.
All I can say is, why am I making my son do his eighth grade summer math packet? Why bother with the reading and the saxophone practice? It seems that all the ways I thought he should be raised to be successful in this world – work hard, stay in school, respect other people – have been thrown out the window.
He should be toning his abs and perfecting his swearing and binge drinking. If he wants to live in a $4 million house with a surfeit of suede furniture, a gold patina kitchen, and a wife that refers to him as "juicy" he needs to spend more time beefing up his biceps and selecting black tee shirts.
Being a reality star seems like one of the few growth industries these days. Every time I turn around there is a new crop of gross humans making lots more money that I am.
It's petty to complain, I know. The world changes. Jobs are so last year. Crass behavior, filmed in HD, is the gravy train now.
Well, at least I can stop saving for college.
Pam Lobley writes the "Now That's Funny" column. Sign up for her mailing list at www.pamlobley.com.
Lets go for Carloine's husband he is no saint. Lots of stuff has happened at the Brownstone with him, lets see who crawls out of the wood work next. You all think Caroline is so great. She also just turned her head for her man. She is next. Danielle will finally get to see all the skeltons in these closets. When treat people the way they treated Danielle it will make someone out there find the dirt on you. If you noticed they all called her names on the reunion show.
Did she call any of them names? Just saying....