There's a drug called 'Charlie Sheen'? | Movies | NewJerseyNewsroom.com -- Your State. Your News.

newjerseynewsroom.com

Friday
Dec 19th
  • Login
  • Create an account
    Registration
    *
    *
    *
    *
    *
    REGISTER_REQUIRED
  • Search
  • Local Business Deals

There's a drug called 'Charlie Sheen'?

sheencharlie022711_optBY PAM LOBLEY
NEWJERSEYNEWSROOM.COM
NOW THAT’S FUNNY

It’s true. I saw an interview with the embattled actor Charlie Sheen, and when he was asked if he was on drugs, he answered heartily, “Yes, I’m on a drug! It’s called Charlie Sheen.”

Parents, were you aware of this? I thought I was up on all the latest threats to my children. Here in New Jersey our community works very hard to educate its citizens about drugs. Certainly, our local D.A.R.E. program and the health classes at school teach us all about drugs, their dangers, and how to avoid them. I know about pot, coke, meth, heroin, and alcohol. But this Charlie Sheen, well, that’s a new one on me.

If you are a parent, you know how hard it is to keep your kid safe. Threats from society are constant: violent video games, sexting, cyber-bullying, regular bullying, eating disorders, underage drinking, obesity, drugs and cigarette smoking. It’s exhausting.

I’ve barely recovered from the Four Loko problem. That drink used to combine alcohol and caffeine to potentially dangerous effects, and was very popular with college students. Because some deaths and illnesses were linked to the drink, the caffeine has been removed. So now, it’s just a cocktail in a can. Super. What could go wrong there?

Red Bull is another canned beverage that represents a hazard. The thing is loaded with caffeine, so, aside from making your adolescent talk even faster than they normally do, it can have serious side effects in children who have diabetes, seizures, or cardiac abnormalities.

Of course, regular soda is terrible, too. One a day and you’ve gained ten pounds over a year’s time. Like we’re not fat enough already.

The Charlie Sheen drug carries with it specific hazards related to delusion, selfishness, and piercing rage. The good news: it’s very expensive, so most kids wouldn’t have access to it.

The bad news: there’s a dessert called Kim Kardashian, and it’s practically free.

Pam Lobley writes the “Now That’s Funny” column. Sign up for her mailing list at www.pamlobley.com.

Also by Pam Lobley

How did 'Kurt Douglas' do at the Oscars?

Is President Obama stealing from Governor Chris Christie?

Chris Lee shirtless photo leads N.Y. Congressman to resign, but with raised suspicions

Is there a gay Snooki for ‘Jersey Shore' spinoff?

‘Jersey Shore' leads pack of hit N.J. reality TV shows

NJ school closings: More snow means more snow days

Mid-terms stink at North Hunterdon High School

Yes, Snooki and ‘Jersey Shore' to film in Italy

Coming out of the closet: I'm a mess

Who really owns the New York Jets?

Kansas State University professor loses 27 pounds on Twinkie diet

Are Chinese mothers superior?

N.J. school closings: Snow day tips

Four Horsemen of Downsizing: Newark ending mounted police program

N.J. weather forecast: State is getting more snow!

Snooki wrote a book? It's ‘A Shore Thing'

Now that's funny: Angie's got a bump!

Gov. Christie will not make New Year's resolutions

Christmas photos ... do the kids really look like that?

True confessions — I got bailed out by Fed's Ben Bernanke!

Gov. Paterson wants New Jersey to help pay for repairs to New York's Tappan Zee Bridge

Billboard at the Lincoln Tunnel celebrates atheism

‘Dancing with the Stars' — a spin off?

It's official. Chris Christie might run for president in 2016

‘Real housewives of N.J.' star Teresa Giudice will be back

Who wears the pants in your family?

N.J. dad drops toilet paper from plane while flying over son's school

Jewish Standard caught in the middle on same-sex wedding announcements

 

Add your comment

Your name:
Subject:
Comment:

Follow/join us

Twitter: njnewsroom Linked In Group: 2483509