BY PAM LOBLEY
NOW THAT'S FUNNY
If you are a Tea Party voter who has been Bewitched by Christine O'Donnell, it's no surprise. She dabbled in witchcraft when she was at Moorestown High School in New Jersey.
Thus was the revelation in an old "Politically Incorrect" tape that Bill Maher showed last week on his show.
She is truly haunted by her past.
She's made sacrifices for her beliefs.
She was always good in spell-ing.
I watched the tape, which is from 1999, and which is easily accessed on You Tube. She comes off like a chatty 20-something looking for attention. The most disturbing thing about the tape, frankly, is her hair. It is big. I'm talking some big, ‘80s hair. Ms. O'Donnell grew up in New Jersey, so it's likely that her allegiance to big hair was deeply ingrained. The tape is from 1999; some of us may find it unsettling that she hadn't updated her look in a decade.
She's updated her look now, and she looks much better, but nevertheless she has a wealth of dubious TV moments from her past. Bill Maher, who graduated from Pascack Hills in New Jersey, has already said he is going to show every one of them until she agrees to come on his show. Ms. O'Donnell may end up being a boon for me, because I'm running out of things to say about the NJ Housewives — also women with dubious pasts and big hair.
In high school, Ms. O'Donnell went on a date with a fellow who took her to the movies and then to a Satanic altar. I would have preferred an ice-cream parlor, but that's just me. She said, about her date at the altar, there was "a little blood there, and stuff like that." I can't help but question her choice in boys. She has remained unmarried, and now we know why. Those devil-worshippers have a real fear of commitment.
I am not endorsing Ms. O'Donnell, and I don't live in Delaware so I can't vote for her. But I'll say this: if we start judging candidates on whether or not they did anything stupid in high school, we are going to have a pretty slim roster of contenders for public office.
When I was in high school, I used to wear navy blue eyeliner on the inside of lids, and when I would sweat, I would get blue smudges all over. We used to cram 15 kids in Miles Mason's dad's old Buick and leave campus (illegally) to go to Roy Rogers for lunch. I am sure Miles was speeding, and that he couldn't see out the back window. Seatbelts were not involved.
I grew up in Maryland, and at the time the drinking age in Washington, D.C., was 18. At the age 16, it was super easy for me to get a fake ID and get into clubs. My friends and I all had them and we used them. Not really to drink, but to dance. We were crazy for Disco.
After the news broke about her witchcraft experience, Ms. O'Donnell cancelled her scheduled appearances on "Face The Nation" and "Fox News Sunday". She claimed it was because she was already busy going to church and to a GOP fundraising picnic, but of course, it was probably so that she could get her story straight on her witchy past before facing the hard questions, like for instance "Do you intend to place a curse on your opponent?" and "Could you make our deficit magically disappear?"
My oldest son will be going to high school next year. If the stupidest thing he does in four years is check out a satanic altar on a date with some Goth gal, I will count myself one lucky mom.
Pam Lobley writes the "Now That's Funny" column. Sign up for her mailing list at www.pamlobley.com.