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BY RHONDA BASSAT-RIVERA
NEWJERSEYNEWSROOM.COM
ASK THE WEDDING EXPERT
DEAR RHONDA: How important is it to have my makeup professionally done for my wedding? I know what looks good on me. I don't want to look like a stranger on my wedding day! – MACKENZIE IN HARRINGTON PARKDEAR MACKENZIE: I totally understand your concerns about using a professional makeup artist. After all, who hasn't seen some garish-looking bride on one of those "worst weddings" shows?
However, I have to say that a true professional make-up artist will listen to you, play up your best features and only make you look more beautiful for your big day. And the truth is, a professional knows how to apply makeup so it not only will last until you are saying your good-byes, but also will make you look gorgeous in your photos!
But don't take my word for it! I brought your question to Michelle LoConte, owner of Pink Comb Salon in Nutley, who is a wonderful hair and makeup artist with whom I have had the pleasure of working on many occasions.Michelle says, "On your wedding day, you want to be the most beautiful version of yourself. Having your makeup done professionally on your wedding day is a great investment. As the bride, you should look and feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. You will have your pictures forever and it's a long day. Investing time and money in hiring a makeup artist will ensure flawless coverage of your imperfections, enhancement of your best features and makeup that will last 10-12 hours. Your face will be picture perfect!
"A professional makeup artist will be able to naturally enhance your beauty and maintain your look - be sure to be very upfront with your artist about the specific look you are going for,'' she continues. "Showing photos of makeup you like on women who have similar skin tone, hair color and eye color will really guide the artist you hire into giving you what you want. Be sure to let them know what you do and don't like so that you don't end up looking ‘different.' "
Michelle's final advice on this topic is "a professional bridal makeup artist has tremendous experience with working on women with varying skin tones, eye colors, bone structure and face shape – he or she will be able to figure out the most flattering colors and techniques once you meet for your trial. A trial is very important. Your wedding day makeup shouldn't be a surprise."
I totally agree with Michelle. It is very important for you to have a trial with your makeup artist, so that you feel comfortable with your look on your wedding day. I counsel my clients to start looking and booking a trial with a makeup artist approximately 6 months before their big day. That way, if you are unhappy, you still have time to make any necessary changes.
And ... the best artists, like the Pink Comb Salon, get booked very fast!
DEAR RHONDA: My fiancé is Jewish and I'm Catholic. How can we incorporate both religions into our wedding ceremony without having a priest and a rabbi officiate? – CATHERINE IN TOMS RIVER
DEAR CATHERINE: In today's society, many couples face this very issue. Where neither the bride nor the groom is particularly religious or a member of a specific congregation, the couple usually chooses to get married at their reception site, or at a local park or garden. The question then becomes, who will marry us?
In this situation, I advise my clients to look on the website for the Celebrant USA Foundation & Institute. Listed on this website are many celebrants who are trained in a variety of rituals from various religions and cultures. Celebrants create personalized ceremonies that reflect you, as a couple, and incorporate as much – or as little – religious overtones as you like.
Celebrant and Inter-Faith Minister, April Beer, is a celebrant that has married many of my clients. She has developed a very large and active practice for Jewish/Christian couples, and strives to create ceremonies that honor both families and make everyone comfortable and happy.
April says, "for Jewish/Christian couples who do not wish to have a Rabbi and Priest/Pastor officiate over their ceremonies, there are other options available today. They can have a Celebrant, Non-Denominational or Inter-Faith Minister preside over their ceremonies."
Rituals from both backgrounds/religions can be included in the ceremony, but done in a cultural fashion rather than in a religious manor. April notes, "the goal is to be inclusive and not offend or exclude any of the family members with heavy religious references."
I asked April to provide an idea of what types of rituals are commonly used in Jewish/Christian ceremonies. Here's a list of April's recommendations:
- The couple may choose to be married under a "Chuppah," also known as the Jewish Wedding Canopy. During the ceremony, April mentions that the Chuppah represents the new home the couple will create together and is open on all 4 sides to indicate family and friends are invited to visit (but please call first!).
- A Wine Ceremony is a popular ritual in many cultures, but most typically featured in Jewish weddings. The wine represents the bitter and sweet of life in the Jewish tradition, while Christians say it is the fruit of life. By having the couple drink the wine, it makes any bitterness in the wine sweeter because it is shared. If the bride or groom had a Bat or Bar Mitzvah, they were probably gifted a Kiddush cup. It's a nice touch to use their Kiddush cup on their wedding day, and April may make mention of the date of the Bat or Bar Mitzvah during the ceremony. If the couple so chooses, the standard Hebrew Blessing, which is one short line, can be said before they couple share the wine.
- Many Interfaith couples choose to have a close relative or friend read a simple Bible Scripture, such as 1st Corinthians.
- One of the most beautiful and loving rituals is the Lighting of the Unity Candle. Typically a Christian ritual, but when done in a loving and cultural manner, it is a crowd pleaser to both Jewish and Christian families. The lighting can include the parents, just moms, or just the couple. When performing this ritual with parents or mom, April notes that the light given by the parents represents the couple's spiritual foundation, the families of their birth and the love and fond memories they have of their children. The Bride and Groom take the lit tapered candles from their parents and together they light the Unity Candle to combine their fire and create an even bigger flame. It should remind the couple of the flame of their relationship and the importance of keeping that alive, as well as the uniting of the two families.
- And, of course, a Jewish/Christian wedding isn't complete without the ever-popular Jewish "Stepping on the Glass." Many religious meanings exist for this ritual, but for an interfaith wedding, a beautiful explanation is that the couple's love is so large that no vessel can contain it. It also signifies good luck to our newly married couple. And an additional meaning is the fragility of marriage, since once trust is broken, it can never truly be repaired. Traditionally the groom steps on the glass, even if he's not Jewish. Many modern couples will either step on one glass together or have one for each of them. To include both families, April prompts the guests to either shout out "Congratulations" or "Mazel Tov" after the glass is smashed.
As soon as you settle upon a date for your wedding, I counsel my clients to immediately seek a celebrant to marry them. If possible, try to book your celebrant 1 year ahead of time.
Rhonda Bassat-Rivera is a wedding planner & consultant and the founder of West Orange-based Bride Ideas. In this monthly column, you will get answers to all of your wedding questions. Have a question for The Wedding Expert? Send Rhonda an email at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .
