As George Carlin said, why is your stuff stuff, and other people's stuff ...

BY PAM LOBLEY

NEWJERSEYNEWSROOM.COM

COMMENTARY

So, Bernie Madoff had a garage sale. Maybe you heard. A couple of weeks ago his possessions were up for auction at the Sheraton in New York. This was not the big stuff: yachts, cars and the like.

This was the REST of the stuff — unremarkable furniture, bland dishware, a creamer shaped like a cow. Stuff that you would see at any garage sale. Stuff, in fact, that you can see in your own home.

I used to have a butter dish shaped like a cow. It was OK. Frankly, it was a pain to keep tidy. Butter kept smearing in the decoratively bovine details. When it finally got chipped, and I felt comfortable throwing it away, I felt relief. I felt released from that butter dish. Now I could use any old plate; I didn't have to use the special cow. I was free.

We are all captives of our stuff. I think we think that rich people have better stuff than us, and maybe they do. Maybe they have softer sheets or nicer rugs or even a few Picassos. But now we know that they also have creamers shaped like cows. They have stupid, useless stuff they cannot bear to throw away.

My husband just finished doing our basement. When he started, the first thing we had to do was move our stuff out of the basement. We threw a bunch of stuff away, and the rest we hauled out to the garage or lugged up to the attic.

For a while, every few days I would go up to the attic, fill a hefty bag with stuff, and throw it out. I did this regularly for a few months, and in the spring, the attic looked absolutely no different. I just gave up.

The basement renovation has taken a year. So, for a year, my family has lived without the extra set of steak knives, without the huge stack of record albums, without the costume my husband wore in his high school play. We have lived without various cake plates and vases, without remote control helicopters, without back issues of Cigar Aficionado. Do we really need all these things back in our lives again?

Magazines and TV shows are constantly encouraging to get organized and get rid of stuff. It's a fantasy, really, that most of us have. A totally organized pantry. A tidy closet. Labeled shelving.

Let's face it though, the minute you have achieved that, you will just go out and buy new stuff. Because now you will have room for new stuff! The new stuff will be stuff you always wanted but never had room for! The new stuff will make you feel so good!

My husband is terrible at getting rid of stuff. His closet is currently holding four times the legal limit of Gap Khakis and old Timberland boots, even though they are mostly grubby and full of holes. I am much better at throwing stuff out, but still, I have baby books the kids read that I can't part with, I have an old Nicole Miller shirt with shoulder pads, I have way too many books.

If I throw that stuff out, I'll erase my past. How else will I remember my son opening the little flaps to "Dear Zoo" a million times? How will I remember all the fabulous parties I went to wearing my Nicole Miller shirt?

Keeping stuff also makes us feel alive. I'm still here! I might need this! I have a future and this mixing bowl could be a part of it!

We all know you can't take it with you. That's the point of having so much stuff — we're convinced we're not leaving. As a matter of fact, since I'm going to be around for such a long time, I might need some more stuff.

Time to make up my Christmas list.

Pam Lobley is a columnist and co-author of the book "You Definitely Know You're a Mom When ..." To read her past columns or get contact information, visit her website: www.pamlobley.com.