NOW THAT’S FUNNY
Everyone wants to get romantic on Valentine’s Day. Fox News has put out a list of the Top Ten Places to Kiss in the U.S. This is very helpful, because it gives you lots of good ideas, and can be especially useful if you are married and are out of ideas that turn up the romance. However, you might not have time to visit those places right now. For those of us who need good ideas that are close to home, here are some of my tried and true favorite places to kiss:
In the kitchen while you and your husband are both pouring your first cup of coffee. You both have morning breath. Kiss, but don’t inhale.
In the laundry room when your husband comes down to get some clean socks which you never got a chance to take out of the dryer.
In the hallway by the side door, while your husband is hugging your sixth grader goodbye as he leaves for school. Join in their clinch and steal a kiss.
In the den while you are on the phone. Your close friend is telling you all about the fungus that is growing on her teenaged son’s foot. Your husband sticks his head in to say goodbye on his way to work. Put your hand over the phone and give him a kiss.
10 minutes later, in the driveway, when your husband comes back after forgetting his phone.
In the kitchen, in front of the refrigerator. When you call your husband to ask if he can stop at the store to get some milk, make the smoochy sound into the phone. He’ll get the milk.
In the kitchen, over a hot stove. The kids are doing homework and fighting; they won’t notice. Heat that kitchen up a little more.
In your minivan on the way to some volunteer committee meeting. Why do they schedule these things on Valentine’s Day?
By the back door where the dog threw up. Who let him eat that meatloaf? You’re both bending down with paper towels … heads close together … seize the moment.
In the living room. The kids are asleep. You take it from here.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Pam Lobley writes the “Now That’s Funny” column. Follow her on twitter @plobley.