newjerseynewsroom.com

BY BOB HOLT

NEWJERSEYNEWSROOM.COM

Many of us have always been a bit superstitious. When Friday the 13th arrives, some people lock themselves in their houses and hide under the bed. As long as they get out from the bed on the same side they went under, they are confident that they won't be cursed that day.

But many people will swear on a stack of Bibles, knock on wood and cross their fingers that superstitions can actually come true. I didn't realize how bad things could get until I heard a few of these:

Many hospitals have no room number 13.

It's bad luck to open an umbrella in the house, especially in a home where a child is running with scissors.

That knock on wood reference means you are expected to knock three times on wood after you mention something good so the evil demons won't take it away.

Be careful about knocking on wood in today's housing market, because you might not be as lucky as you thought you were.

In Italy they omit the number 13 from their lottery. In New Jersey they omit the winning Powerball number from every Megamillions ticket I buy.

You can't step on a crack on a sidewalk or walkway unless your mother has premium health insurance coverage.

If you see a penny and pick it up, all the day you'll have good luck. If you see a folded up $20 bill laying on the sidewalk, someone thinks they are funny. But if you make a wish and drop that penny into a fountain, your wish is supposed to come true.

These days people wish for scuba gear so they can clean the rest of the money out of that fountain.

A dime or a penny tied around your ankle will ward off evil spirits. A $100 bill tied around your ankle will ward off Exxon for a mile or so.

Everyone has heard that an itchy palm means money is coming your way. When you live in New Jersey, you transfer it to your other hand and deliver it to the property tax collector.

A Greek money superstition says you should always carry even a little cash in your pockets, purse, or wallet. Along with banks, even today's pickpocket imposes a service charge if there isn't a certain minimum there.

If 13 people sit down at a table to eat, one of them will die before the end of the year. It may depend on who is doing the catering, but that has to be the true meaning of the Last Supper.

If a black cat crosses your path you will have bad luck. If you were in a car, you can block out the bad luck by making an X on the windshield.

When a cow lifts its tail, it is a sure sign of rain. It's also a sure sign you need to keep a shovel handy.

If you catch a falling leaf on the first day of autumn, you will not catch a cold all winter. This is true, and you will find it strictly detailed in your HMO plan. Your HMO representative, a three legged rabbit, will explain it all to you.

And a red ribbon is to be placed on a sick child to keep the illness from returning. Along with that lucky rabbit's foot and an apple a day, that is the basis of your current health care policy.

If you have 13 letters in your name, it's said that you will have the Devil's luck. Charles Manson has issued a full denial of this one.

And the superstition says that if you blow out all the candles on your birthday cake you will get your wish. If I don't blow out all the candles on my birthday cake, I would wish for the nice insurance payment on my house from setting it on fire.

Now I realize that many of you believe that superstitions are no more than old wives' tales. But reliable sorcerers report that fifty percent of couples are getting divorced these days, and there aren't a whole lot of old wives left. So they must know what they're talking about.

No, breaking a mirror does not equal to seven years of bad luck. Your bad luck will coincide with the length of the payment plan you chose when you bought the mirror from Ikea.

And if you spill salt these days, that will leave less salt you can use to flavor your food and help to clog up your arteries.

My worst superstition is my fear of straining my tongue from trying to pronounce paraskevidekatriaphobia, the fear of Friday the 13th. I used to stay in the house on that day, but I've grown out of those silly superstitions I always followed. I plan to go outside at will this year. Please cross your fingers that nothing happens.