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BY PAM LOBLEY
NEWJERSEYNEWSROOM.COM
NOW THAT'S FUNNY
Well, the kids are back in school. Time to get organized.
Actually, I was supposed to get organized this summer. I figured, you know, lazy days, schedule free - kids in camp for a few days, I'll be able to whittle down the huge stack of paperwork. I'll clean out the spare bedroom. I'll paint the laundry room.
HA! I spent half the summer driving all over the tri-state area, we went to the swim club for hours on end, and my thirteen-year-old son upgraded his eating habits to five square meals a day. Hi, puberty!
Actually, I was supposed to get organized last spring. My husband finally finished redoing the basement, and we put the carpet down, and we were able to move all the clutter and toys down there. I thought, "Great. I'll whittle down the huge stack of paperwork. I'll clean out the spare bedroom. I'll paint the laundry room.
HA! Campouts, fields trips, finals, music lessons and concerts, recurring allergic conjunctivitis ... I could only dream of an organized life. I tore out pictures from magazines for inspiration. Now I can't find them.It's not that I don't throw stuff away. It's just that new stuff just keeps coming in. They say that clutter results from delayed decision making. This is definitely true for me. What am I doing to do with that jar of seashells I collected three years ago?
I have a stack of paperwork that is urgent. This is different from the stack of paperwork that is necessary, but not urgent, and mixed in with that is stuff that I need to save but can't deal with right now, like recipes, helpful tips for internet safety, and reading lists for fifth graders. Most likely, the pictures from magazines that I tore out for inspiration are in there, too, but I can't be sure unless I look through the whole stack, and I don't have time for that right now.
First day of school I tackle the urgent stack. I call a doctor's office to straighten out an old bill. They need to fax me something. I plug in my fax. While reaching behind the furniture to plug in the fax I knock over the giant stack of business paperwork. This is different from the urgent stack of paperwork and the necessary stack of paperwork - these are items related to my work: ideas for columns, ledgers for bookkeeping, tax records, magazines I want to pitch to, 4 different versions of a play that I am writing. There is also a bunch of Boy Scout printouts and forms mixed in with that, which technically should be in the necessary file of paperwork, but they belong to my husband, and he just isn't as organized as I am.
I get the fax, call the doctor's office, call the insurance company, send them a fax, resurrect the fallen giant stack of business paperwork. I make a note on my list of things to do that the giant stack of business paperwork needs weeding out.
Before you know it, it's 3 o'clock, and I still haven't straightened out the old doctor's bill. I also haven't done any other urgent paperwork, but I've got to get the kids at school, then start dinner, because we have a three hour marching band rehearsal tonight, and my husband and I each have separate parent involvement meetings for different activities. And of course, the kids have 2 days off this week for Rosh Hashanah, and this weekend we have a football game and a birthday party and a tennis lesson, so the urgent stack of paperwork will be put on hold again.
Oh, well, once fall is over I'll have a lot more time. I'll get organized over the holidays.
Pam Lobley writes the "Now That's Funny" column. Sign up for her mailing list at www.pamlobley.com.
