NOW THAT'S FUNNY
Governor Chris Christie says he will not be making any New Year's resolutions this year. He claims that he has resolved to lose weight about 35 times, and it never works. He has trouble keeping the resolutions.
This surprises me. He seems to have no trouble at all doing whatever he sets his mind to do. If I were him, I'd resolve to drop 50 pounds, and then just blame the bloated government spending or the entrenched teachers' unions when the weight doesn't come off.
Now, he says, he and his wife make resolutions "to each other". They sit down on New Year's Eve, assess the year ahead, and later, compare notes "to see how well we do."
That is so romantic!
Maybe my husband and I should try that. Usually, we just get together with friends and family to drink and overeat. This year, we could make the evening count by "resolving" to each other.
He could resolve to put his laundry away every day, instead of leaving it all over our bedroom. He could resolve to stop making the kids laugh so hard at dinner they spew food. He could resolve to let me drive his car once in a while, instead of constantly having to rotate our cars in and out of our single driveway because he doesn't want me to take his car on a quick trip to CVS, or, as he calls it, the Parking Lot of Dented Doors. He could resolve to stop letting the kids watch so much TV.
I could resolve to "stop making that sound" when I'm congested. I could resolve to stay on top of the paperwork so that we don't have stacks of flyers, bills, receipts and forms all over the house. I could resolve to stop letting the kids watch so much TV.
That sounds like a terrible New Year's Eve. I prefer the idea of drinking and overeating.
My husband and I do have a habit of looking back and talking about the happiest times of the year. Often, the best of times come from some type of struggle: one year I had pneumonia, but we spent lots of time together, renting movies. Last year we got caught in a snowstorm on the way home from Maine, and had to pull off the road and stay in a Holiday Inn. The kids will tell you that was a highlight of their year.
New Year's resolutions are so forced. You know what you should be doing, and if all you need is a different date on the calendar to radically alter your habits, you are one lucky person. Most of us don't care what the calendar says, we just are who we are. My husband is never going to let me take his car to CVS, and I, frankly, like "making that sound" when I'm congested. Happy New Year!
Pam Lobley writes the "Now That's Funny" column. Sign up for her mailing list at www.pamlobley.com.