newjerseynewsroom.com

BY PAM LOBLEY

NEWJERSEYNEWSROOM.COM

NOW THAT'S FUNNY

The time has come: I've got to hit the stores and get the kids their back to school supplies. I typically put this off until the last minute because I hate to think about folders and pencils in the middle of summer, even if they are on sale.

I printed out the lists from the schools' websites. I have a fifth grader and an eighth grader, so I expected the typical "pens, markers, loose leaf paper" type of list. Imagine my surprise when I saw an extra long list, filled with the usual items, but including now a whole slew of new items, apparently designed to help out the schools during this scaled back budget-minded year.

New necessities for the school year include:

• Liquid Soap, Toilet Paper, Paper Towels — the school can no longer afford to equip its bathrooms reliably.
• Trash bag liners — each student will have the opportunity to help keep the planet clean by providing the classroom cans with their own trash bags they bring from home.
• 10 Tulip Bulbs/Garden gloves/Spade — this year we will be learning about the great outdoors by beautifying the front lawn ourselves!
• One desk — wooden top, metal legs, good condition, with an interior for storing folders, pencils, notebooks.
• One chair to fit desk.
• One Haz Mat Suit, size 10-12 — as they dole out the different "special helper" jobs each week, there will now be one student designated to clean up vomit or other contagious messes during the flu season.
• One Science teacher, Masters Degree Required, at least 2 years experience teaching K-6. Experience with gardening and haz mat a plus.
• One PSEG gift card. This year, classes will take turns paying the heating bill each month. Sharing is caring!
• One Commissioner of Education, able to get along with diverse groups of people. Excellent attention to detail and paperwork a must.

Wow ... I guess I better get shopping. As I pick up the list to head out the door, I see another notice. It's from the PTO, listing all their upcoming fundraisers. They are selling candy, wrapping paper, Christmas gifts, and greeting cards. They are hosting festivals, fashion shows, and wine tastings. They are planning on raising $40,000 this year.

I'll just bet they are.

Pam Lobley writes the "Now That's Funny" column. Sign up for her mailing list at www.pamlobley.com.

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