Christie receives hair removal on public funds: Sweeney demands investigation

BY JOEY NOVICK

WHAT EXIT?

SATIRE

“We’ll get to the bottom of this”, says Senate President Sweeney.

New Jersey elected officials do receive medical coverage that covers a wide range of medical ailments. However, one thing that it should not be covering—-is hair removal.

In an official yearly audit by the Office of Budget Management, Deputy State Auditor Shirley Iris Luxenberg discovered an entry of a line item of the Executive Office of Gov. Chris Christie:

“$72,000 for payments to the New Brunswick Hair and Skin Institute for ‘services rendered’ for the Office of the Governor between the months of March 2010 and January 2012.”

The New Brunswick Hair and Skin Institute did not immediately return our calls.

However, their website indicates that, “Nothing gives a person that bear-like aspect as much as a hairy back. While a hairy chest may be desirable for many as being manly, a pelt of hair covering the back is really an excellent candidate for Laser Hair Removal which will get rid of the hairy back problem.”

Michael Drewniak, Christie spokesman, noted, “The governor is entitled to medical coverage the same as any other elected official. Unless his medical condition affects his ability to govern––at which time the lieutenant governor is fully prepared to step in and lead New Jersey––his medical history, and personal medical choices shall remain––personal. End of conversation.”

An open public records request has been made for the time period from March 2010 and January 2012 as to the governor schedule, to determine whether Christie was so incapacitated during alleged sessions at the New Brunswick Hair and Skin Institute, that he was unable to govern.

One tweet from the governor’s personal twitter account, (@GovChristie) dated April 27, 2011: ” This hurts like a son of a bitch!! #ouch #ThatswhoIam”.

The open public records request is due the second week in May.

Joey Novick is the Editor in Chief at www.whatexitnj.com.