N.J. paper money to feature Springsteen, Sinatra, and Piscopo

Tuesday, 01 November 2011 14:20
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NJDollars030911_optBY JOEY NOVICK
WHAT EXIT?

(Satire)

New Jersey legislators are considering a bill that would allow the state to circulate paper currency for state debt.

And just who will appear on the paper currency?

“Everyone agrees that Jerry Lewis (of Weehawken) or Lou Costello (of Paterson) should be on the One Dollar bill,” said Assemblyman Michael Patrick Carroll, sponsor of bill A-1776. “And that either Frank Sinatra (of Hoboken) or Bruce Springsteen (of Long Branch) should be on the One Thousand Dollar bill.”

Carroll is the main sponsor for legislation, A-1776, that would “…immediately initiate, create, fashion and grant authority to the state of New Jersey to print monetary paper currency to be valid for all debts public and private for the state there in.” The bill is cosponsored in the State Assembly by fellow legislators Allison Littell McHose (NJ-24), Erik Peterson (NJ-23), and John DiMaio (NJ-23). The same legislation is sponsored in the Senate by Senator Michael Doherty as S-117.

“The Obama administration has so devalued American currency, by its failed economic and fiscal policies, that this is the best a state can do,” noted Carroll.

Under Article I Section 8 of the Federal Constitution, Congress has the authority to:

“To coin Money, regulate the Value thereof, and of foreign Coin, and fix the Standard of Weights and Measures; To provide for the Punishment of counterfeiting the Securities and current Coin of the United States.”

One would think that this alone would deter Assemblyman Carroll–– however he claims that “Article I Section 8 merely refers to ‘coin money’, and not paper currency.”

“In an originalist interpretation of the Constitution, as the Founding Fathers would have us interpret the document, there is no mention of ‘paper money’ – just ‘coin money’ ”, noted Carroll. piscopobill110111_opt

“Obviously, the intent of the Framers was to leave this to the Several States, under the 10th amendment––which says ‘The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.’ The Founding Fathers clearly had it in mind for states to issue their own paper currency. It is only liberal activist courts that have subverted this Original Intent.”

Additionally, under A-1776, “An exploratory New Jersey Currency Commission shall be set up in the following manner: Two members shall be appointed from the general public by the governor; Two members shall be appointed by each house of the legislature; and the Seventh member shall be the Chief Justice of the New Jersey Supreme Court, unless he is a ‘liberal’, whereby the governor shall have the power to appoint his own additional nominee subject to the advice and consent of himself.”

The New Jersey Currency Commission shall have the power to decide which persons, living or dead, will appear the on the various denominations of the paper money.

“There are those liberals who have their favorites; Princeton is lobbying for Woodrow Wilson or Paul Robeson. My personal favorite for the One Hundred Dollar bill is Joe Piscopo. That ‘I’m from Jersey’ bit from 1980s SNL still cracks me up,” finished Carroll.

What exit? is a satirical column written by Joey Novick. He provides more humor at www.WhatExitNJ.com

 
Comments (2)
2 Wednesday, 02 November 2011 19:36
Joseph R. Novick
Dan,
To allay your concerns, I will lobby to have your photo put on the twenty-five coin. Your photo on one side, and the skyline of Atlantic City on the other.

Hope that works for you.
Joey
1 Wednesday, 02 November 2011 07:16
Dan Bowkley
I find it more than a little odd that a state with such an atrociously liberal record regarding the second amendment would go this far the other direction with printing currency. Refreshing, I must admit, and I do hope that the NJ legislature pulls its collective head out of its collective Exit Sixteen (the rectum of the universe, IMHO), but still just plain weird.
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