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N.J. school closings: Snow day tips

snowman011111_optBY PAM LOBLEY
NEWJERSEYNEWSROOM.COM
NOW THAT'S FUNNY

If you're the type that grimaces at the thought of a snow day — a day of lost work, kids home all day, shoveling out the driveway — I have bad news for you. You're old.

Or at least middle aged. It's easy to get bogged down with all the important duties of daily life, and of course, you might have a job you need to get to. But come on! Ten inches of snow! You could make a fort! You can stay in your pajamas and "work from home". You can watch Oprah.

Here are some of my tips for helping you to "get your snow day on".

DO go back to sleep after the 5:00 a.m. robocall from the school telling you that school is closed. Don't think you're going to creep downstairs and get a few things done before the kids get up. That would be very unsnow day of you.

DO make a special breakfast for the kids, like pancakes or eggs and bacon. Then ignore the sticky dishes in the sink till later. No one is coming over anyway.

DON'T rush outside to shovel just because all your neighbors are doing it. The idea is to slack off. Those industrious neighbors are just ruining it for the rest of us.

DO let the kids watch as much TV as they want. This is your quiet time. Read that book.

DO make the kids make their beds and brush their teeth. They will moan at this, and it will seem like a Herculean effort to them to accomplish these things when they are supposed to be doing nothing. They will be exhausted. They will watch more TV. You will read your book.

DO make the kids go out and play. Mine just put their snow pants on over their pjs. If you don't force them outside in the afternoon, it will soon be too dark and then they will suddenly feel a rush of pent up energy from watching TV all day and bounce off the walls. This is a waste of good snow.

You can also MAKE THE KIDS help you shovel. Mine howl at this unfair torture, but once they get outside, they shovel a little. Then someone throws the first snowball, and IT IS ON! Before you know it they are playing. Sure, you are shoveling, but you need the exercise. You ate 12 pancakes for breakfast.

DO NOT stand and watch while your kids go sledding. Get on that sled and ride down yourself. It will take ten years off of your life. For optimum benefit, scream like a little girl as you fly down the hill.

DO make a snowman. Put it someplace where you can see it from a window in your house. My niece and nephew in North Carolina (yes, it snowed there) dressed theirs up in costumes from the dress up box, including a bikini top on one the snow gals. That's thinking!

DO have hot chocolate when you come inside. If you want, you can also bring in fresh snow and squirt chocolate syrup all over it. It's a snow cone! Yeah, yeah, germs in the snow, blah blah. You have to eat a peck of dirt before you die.

After playing, everyone can take hot showers and change into a fresh pair of pajamas for the evening. Wash the first pair. Immediately.

Give the kids cereal for dinner if you don't feel like cooking. You and your husband can drink wine and snack on whatever's around. Watch some more TV, but make sure the kids are in bed on time. It's a school night after all.

Snow days don't last forever.

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