Then it was DeStefano’s turn to propose. “I said yes,’’ and then I said, ‘sit down because I have to give you my gift.’’’
As they plan their November ceremony, to be held near the Jersey border in New York where gay marriage is legal, they’ve experienced both happiness and frustration.
It was difficult to find a Christian church of any denomination that would perform the ceremony, and although they have a back-up church, it doesn’t look like the chapel they envisioned, so they’re still searching. The reception will take place over the border in Old Tappan, New Jersey.
Even if the gay marriage bill is approved by the Legislature, DeStefano and Hafner don’t want the hassle of legal issues if it’s overturned.
“There are a lot of things we have to face that I never thought about before, down to the little minute details of what it means to be married and whether the union is recognized is a huge deal,’’ Hafner says.
Planning the ceremony has been easier. Both men will wear tuxedos and have more than a dozen groomsmen and groomsmaids,’’ a mix of male and female friends and family who stand behind them at the altar.
But in many ways, it will be like other weddings.
“I think the day is going to be great. It’s going to be a celebration of us as a couple and the merging together of two families,’ says DeStefano. “We want everyone to say they had fun.’’