BY JOEY NOVICK

WHAT EXIT?

SATIRE

President Barack Obama said on Sunday that the matter would be fully investigated and that agents assigned to protect him in Colombia were caught with prostitutes, saying he would be angry if the allegations proved true.

“However, I will not be angry if the allegations prove untrue. Additionally, if the allegations prove to be only half-true, then I will only be mildly angry,” noted Pres. Obama. “I have complete confidence that President Clinton will give this situation his undivided attention.”

Prostitution is legal in "tolerance zones" in Colombia and is also widely practiced outside those areas without sanction.

"I will check out every lead on this issue vigorously, and this may take a while," said the former President. "These types of matters need to be handled thoroughly, personally, and definitely internally.”

Joey Novick is the Editor in Chief at www.whatexitnj.com.

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