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BY PAM LOBLEY
NEWJERSEYNEWSROOM.COM
COMMENTARY
Hey, kids, the recession is over! We are in an "emerging" recovery. There has been a "bottoming out". We've been seeing an "uptick".
Yeah, right. The market has gone up some, and banks are paying back their bailout money, and CEOs will get bonuses. But that doesn't mean the recession is over. That just means that Wall Street has done a good job of taking care of itself, like it always does.
The newspapers and television and financial gurus keep telling us we're in turnaround, but they're not saying this because the recession is actually over, they're saying it because they're sick of talking about the recession. It is so DULL. They're ready to move on to recovery.
Well, I am sick of having to reach for my eyeglasses every time I need to read anything smaller than a stop sign, but that doesn't mean my eyesight is going to improve.Don't listen to the news, or to Ben Bernanke, or pay attention to the stock market. Listen to me. I'll tell you how you'll know the recession is over.
You'll know the recession is over when someone besides the banks can pay off their debts. I'm happy that Goldman Sachs has paid their TARP money back to the government, but I would be much happier to see Goldman in debt and have myself be able to pay off my home equity line.
You'll know the recession is over when people like movie stars again. Most of the summer movies with big stars flopped, because budget conscious Americans stopped going to movies unless they were good movies. Hollywood likes to put popular stars in crummy movies and then sit back and let the money roll in. Americans aren't going for that right now.
You'll know the recession is over when the moralizing stops. If I see one more story in a magazine about how this recession is giving us a much needed return to "values", I'll throw up. Thanks, but I already know that my family is more important than possessions, I already love to play board games and have homemade pizza with them, I already know that dresses from Target can be just as adorable as ones from Lord & Taylor.
You'll know the recession is over when you stop seeing Dads in shorts on the playground on a weekday. Yes, I know its summer, I know many of them work at home, but I bet most of them wish they were at the office.
You'll know the recession is over when the school budgets stop cutting programs. This year our middle and high schools cut a bunch of programs, fired some teachers, and started charging families "an activity fee" for their kids to play in varsity sports. We are all bracing for next year, which could be worse.
You'll know the recession is over when people stop having STAYcations and resume having VAcations.
You'll know the recession is over when I stop buying my Chardonnay in jugs. Aw, who am I kidding ... I'll still buy the jugs. It's just so convenient! I'll just buy a better quality jug.
You'll know the recession is over when the press stops talking about recovery. By then, we will actually be in recovery so they'll have to come up with something else to make us pay attention to the news. Like, for instance, how overworked we all are now that we have jobs again. Family game night has disappeared! Children are playing too many varsity sports! We're losing our moral compass!
I think I'll open up a jug.
Pam Lobley is a columnist and co-author of the book "You Definitely Know You're a Mom When ..." To read her past columns or get contact information, visit her website: www.pamlobley.com.
