newjerseynewsroom.com

BY BOB HOLT

NEWJERSEYNEWSROOM.COM

COMMENTARY

Many people are "refudiating" Sarah Palin's choice of words in expressing her thoughts toward a proposed Ground Zero mosque. But English has always been that kind of colorful and flowery language. Considering that technology has given us so many different ways to communicate, why are so many people having a "bee in their bonnet" from those flowers in getting to the point?

In the recent past former President George W. Bush used to remind us on occasion that "according to satistics, Iran's nucular prolifumigation program needs tightening."

What are they talking about? This is called "political" speak, which involves approximately 100 different ways of saying the same thing, or nothing, none of which necessarily relate to the actual truth.

"It's just not cost effective to keep as many numbers on staff during this kind of business downturn. So the restructuring phase of our new marketing campaign will now unfortunately focus on downsizing of our current forces."

This is language heard around the workplace. What is your company actually saying there? Either some of the workforce won't have to do another tour of Iraq or else it's layoff time.

Allow me to explain further. Perhaps you've just received word that your office has been transferred to that area just outside the loading dock.

The good news: You have a lot more space to work. Your new office is roomier and much larger. The bad news: It's out in the parking lot.

It is never good when this latest office transfer means that the list of different jobs you've held there is longer than the company manual. But management always softens the blow by telling you that it's all part of "corporate realignment".

Such differences in language and communication raise more questions than they do answers.

For instance, how can a person ever hitch their wagon to a star when another person is threatening to fix their wagon?

When someone leaves the office to "stretch their legs", why do they always come back the same height?

If money is burning a hole in your pocket, doesn't that seem like the right time to "pass the buck?"

Should you feel compelled to "paint the town red" maybe "once in a blue moon", why does that make some people "green with envy?"

If you let the cat out of the bag and PETA hears about it, won't you be left holding the bag?

Women are not spared from being misled by language. First they are told "You go, girl", and later they might hear "Don't go there, girlfriend."

On other occasions people will ADD words to their speech which are not necessary, as in "You are SO not going." It doesn't matter how much time you think you are saving with such shorteners, because a week's vacation from work will always go by faster than one day on the job.

There once was a time when your level of experience at a job generated much respect. But you realize that management actually does appreciate you. That's because they tell you there's no need to hurry back from your scheduled vacation this time.

What they mean is; Feel free to take a little longer. Like a few extra months. Will you be compensated for these months? Well, we'll hold a shift meeting and take that under advisement.

If your job is that stressful, you will need an adequate medical plan. There won't be any need for surgery for the heart attack you have while waiting six months for that shift meeting. You'll merely be having "necessary routine treatments" or a "procedure."

When business is going poorly, you may find yourself unemployed. During that period you will find that you can't even watch your favorite television shows. But that's not because they were canceled.

A given program will instead be placed "on hiatus", be "pulled indefinitely", "not renewed", or find itself merely "off the schedule".

So instead of television, you turn to radio. And your favorite artist is suddenly featured on the "soft rock" station, which is now heard prominently in elevators. You've already been bitter about this for years because you know there is no such thing as "soft rock".

But now you are told that your favorite now appeals to an "older demographic". No one wants to hear nice words for "over the hill", so you respond that he still "kicks ass".

And if you should happen to work for a restaurant, you may be told that your services are no longer required because the store is "undergoing renovations."

Translation: They're looking for a new gimmick which will fool the most people.

Anyway, I've been told that while this report demonstrates a vast richness in pedestrian quality, it is still found wanting in the context of substance.

When I figure out what that means, someone's going to pay for it.

Bob Holt can be reached at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it . To read more from Bob, click here.