newjerseynewsroom.com

BY BOB HOLT

NEWJERSEYNEWSROOM.COM

Sept. 19 is Talk Like a Pirate Day, whether you scurvy dogs realize it or not.

This unofficial holiday has yet to really catch on in New Jersey, despite the state's rich pirate lore. And I, for one, intend to help popularize the effort by growling "Arrrr!" at unsuspecting store clerks and answering my phone "Ahoy!"

Talk Like a Pirate Day was conceived in 1995 by John Baur and Mark Summers while they were playing racquetball in Albany, N.Y. As often happens during spirited competition, they were yelling friendly encouragement to each other, like "Owww, I think I tore something!" and "Not in the face!"

Eventually, these reassuring words began to drift into pirate slang. Talking like pirates made their game more enjoyable. They decided then and there that the best way to bring the world together would be to create a national holiday on which everyone talked like pirates.

As Baur and Summers explain on their website, www.talklikeapirate.com, they chose Sept. 19 because it is the birthday of Summers' ex-wife. Upon hearing the news, Rhonda Summers reported that she had never been more proud to be Mark's ex-wife.

Baur and Summers have pillaged and plundered their way through several radio interviews. They have spoken to National Public Radio, and stations in Phoenix, Albany, Cleveland and Sydney, Australia, trying to make Talk Like a Pirate Day a truly international holiday. Summers also was able to land an interview with Purplebeard, the Gay Pirate, a host on KRSK-FM (105.1) in Portland, Ore.

And I'm certainly going to walk the plank for a cause that supports international harmony. We need an International Talk Like a Pirate Day, if for no other reason than to give guys another excuse to act like slimy bilge rats. Even women can feel free to swash their own buckles as they see fit.

It's especially appropriate in New Jersey, where pirates roamed the coast in the late 17th and early 18th centuries. The Raritan Bay teemed with pirates and privateers. Blackbeard attacked farmers and villages near what is today Middletown, and Capt. Morgan often visited New Jersey's shores.

Legend has it that the infamous Capt. Kidd buried treasure in New Jersey - possibly around Cape May, or near Toms River, or at Sandy Hook.

On Talk Like a Pirate Day, you can fill a mundane workday with romance, skullduggery and a whole lot of cockeyed stares. Pirate language is rich and complicated, but Baur and Summers say you can get by if you master five basic words:

Ahoy! Hello! To be directed at me hearty, whomever that might be.

Avast! Stop and give attention. This is usually used as a sense of surprise, for example, if you should see mates coming out of Pirates of the Caribbean at the cineplex. Johnny Depp is not a pirate. Pirates are not pretty.

Aye! Why, yes, I agree most heartily with everything you just said or did, me hearty.

Aye aye! I'll get right on that, sir, as soon as my break is over.

Arrrr! This term offers the most possible meanings. It can mean "Yes, I'm happy," "I saw “Bucky Larson and it reeked," or "Another round of grog!"

But you need to avoid certain mistakes that could keelhaul you on Talk Like a Pirate Day.

At your workplace, do not make "treasure chest" remarks while reciting an old sea chantey to a wench you met at the water cooler.

This is an idea whose time has come. Talk Like a Parrot Day annoyed too many people, and Talk Like a Parent Day was fun only for your kids. But as Baur and Summers say, you can greet Talk Like a Pirate Day with a smile on your face and a parrot on your shoulder, if that's your thing.

Arrrr!