Snooki, annoying? That’s a crime!

BY PAM LOBLEY

NEWJERSEYNEWSROOM.COM

NOW THAT'S FUNNY

The "Jersey Shore" star Snooki is facing three charges subsequent to her arrest last month: disorderly conduct, creating a public nuisance, and annoying people on the beach.

Yes, in New Jersey, annoying people on a beach is a crime. You always loved the Garden State, and now you know why — you can have people arrested for irritating you while you're at the shore.

I'm not sure if annoying people in other locations is a crime. For instance, what if you're annoying me at the Shoprite or on Route 17? Can I call the police on you? Probably not, or else most of Paramus would be behind bars right now.

In any case, I'm just glad that SOMEONE got charged with SOMETHING. I'm so sick of people's bad behavior going unpunished. Humans have become so grasping and obnoxious, and yet we're still within the law, so there are no repercussions. The criminally annoying thing breaks some exciting new ground.

Rod Blagojevich just got off almost scott-free, convicted on only 1 of 24 counts, simply because the jury was confused by the charges and couldn't come to a verdict. Now, if Blago had been charged with, say, being repugnant, well, I think the jury could have convicted in an hour.

I watched those Goldman Sachs executives squirm at Congressional hearings a few months ago. They were on slippery moral ground the way the dealt with their clients, but they broke no laws, and they knew it. It would have been so satisfying to have a Senator proclaim: "You are hereby indicted for being a Big Fat Cheater Pants." "What?" the executives would stammer, "that's not against the law."

It is now!

And, for all those AIG executives that took their bailout money and went on luxury spa retreats to discuss business and de-stress, they could be thrown in jail for Transporting Big Fat Cheaters Pants Across State Lines.

Snooki did not appear at the court hearing in Seaside Heights, and she has pleaded not guilty to all three charges. Big surprise. She doesn't face any jail time, but she could see about $500 in fines. I say make her pay. It's time she learned to stop bothering people on the beach, and keep that annoying behavior on TV, where it belongs.

Pam Lobley writes the "Now That's Funny" column. Sign up for her mailing list at www.pamlobley.com.