BY MELODY BROGAN

COMMENTARY

First let me start by saying this article was difficult to write as it is written from personal experience stemming from a husband’s attempt at infidelity. I am far from a prude and remain always the liberal.

Married for 32 years and the mother of two adult sons, my experience on alternative dating websites began purely by accident. I am a self employed professional with a strong sense of morality and self respect so I would never have explored this alternative lifestyle. I would hardly admit to being happily married, but I was not prepared for this. Then one day my world was shattered when my spouse left his email open on my computer purely by accident.

There it was in black and white, “Look who’s contacted you today” with the title of the website listed. So …..I click on it, I know this is not my mailbox but it’s MY COMPUTER and I do it anyway,  just out of curiosity.

I find, as I browse through, that this particular site caters to those who are just interested in having an affair. As I explore the website I find thousands of people from across the country who have created profiles, indicating the type of person they are looking for and for what purpose. They could be your sister, your cousin , your neighbor, your child, your best friend. They could also be your spouse. This is a new and foreign language to me and as I search and scroll, and then I find it, there it is, my spouses profile without the optional photo. This was not difficult to determine as the data he provided was accurate, except for the fact he made himself a few pounds lighter, he even had his horoscope listed, it was him and there was no mistaking it!

Your reaction at first is astonishment , then it turns to anger and then of course you want revenge. There was a confrontation, several poor attempts to blame the listing on other factors such as Google using my personal data to list me. I just clicked on the “Interested in women” icon on my Facebook page and it listed me and then finally came the, “OK I did it but I didn’t pay any money, and I didn’t get any action and I think that was in 2009.”

That response to me: dead guilty! Shortly thereafter came a trial separation. This incident was just the icing on the cake, and no one was surprised to hear we were having marital strife!

After five weeks of separation, but still residing in the same home, numerous confrontations were encountered. I craved more information. This stems from my constant need to learn, to educate myself, to fill my brain with information, at times useless information , but still, more information. This is my attempt to stay ahead of the majority of the population who prefer to vegetate in front of reality TV.