PAM LOBLEY

NEWJERSEYNEWSROOM

NOW THAT'S FUNNY

Here’s a popular fib this time of year:  “Santa’s watching … you better be good or you’ll get coal in your stocking.”  There are many different ways that this line is simply not true, one of which is that even if your kid is a demon you are still going to give him his gifts.  When was the last time you heard of a parent withholding Christmas gifts because of bad behavior?

We tell our kids lots of things to get them to do what we want.  Sometimes we tell them things only because our own parents said them to us.

For instance, when I used to see my kids rubbing  their eyes at bedtime I would say “Oh, I see the Sandman is here.” 

Of course I know there’s no Sandman!  Luckily, my children would usually fall asleep before I even had to explain who the heck the Sandman was and why he thought it was a good idea to sprinkle dirty grit into little childrens’ eyes.

In Parade Magazine this week, Ken Jennings explores 15 different myths parents consistently tell their children and examines the truth behind them.  One of the warnings ripe for debunking is the “wait an hour after eating to go swimming” advice.   This if false, there is no danger to swimming right after eating and now, thankfully, that is becoming common knowledge.

Some of the other myths Mr. Jennings dispels are “don’t cross your eyes, they’ll get stuck like that”, (untrue), “you need hydrogen peroxide to clean that cut” (soap and water is better), “sugar will make you hyper” (not true).

As science catches up with moms and disproves some of our tried and true warnings, we’re going to have to think up some new ones.  Here’s some I’d like to see:

Cleaning your room builds muscles.

Walking the dog – and picking up after him – improves video game skills.

It’s good luck to turn out all the lights when you leave a room.

Eating vegetables makes your hair grow in faster (from that haircut you didn’t want).

Hugging your mom makes you smarter.

There’s one lie I won’t stop telling my children.  When they are talking to me at night, and they suddenly say “Mom!  Did you hear what I said?  Are you sleeping?”   I say, “Oh, no, honey, I’m listening, I was just resting my eyes.”

Pam Lobley writes the “Now That’s Funny” column.  Check out her blog:  Better Living Through Chaos! Follow her on twitter @plobley.