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BY RHONDA BASSAT-RIVERA
NEWJERSEYNEWSROOM.COM
WEDDING TRENDS
Most engagements happen between Thanksgiving and New Year's Eve. Of course, Valentine's Day is a big day for love, and the summer – especially here in New Jersey – have special days. But, for the most part, most men "pop the question" during this holiday season. So, this article is geared toward helping out the men!
Step One: Find the perfect ring (OK, this is actually step two, with the first step being finding your soul mate!). This is a lot more complicated than going to the jewelry counter at a local store and walking out with a little box! You really need to be armed with some basic knowledge about diamonds, which are the most common stone found in engagement rings.
The value of a diamonds is based upon the 4 C's – cut, color, clarity and carat. I'm betting you think you know the most about the last C, but all four equally comprise a diamond's worth.
"Cut" refers to the proportions, finish, symmetry and polish of the diamond. This is the only C that is determined by the artisan's skill in cutting the unfinished diamond, as the other C's come directly from nature. The quality of the cut is directly responsible for the stone's beauty; therefore, the precision with which the facets are arranged is of prime importance. They determine the amount of light reflected to the eye, called brilliance.A fine cut does not lose any refracted light; a heavy cut loses light from the sides of the diamond and a shallow cut looses light through the bottom. 95 percent of diamonds are a shallow cut.
"Color" refers to the amount of color the diamond contains. Diamonds range from colorless to yellow; colors can also range from intense yellow to brown, blue, green, pink and red. These colors are referred to as "fancy diamonds," and are very rare (and correspondingly more expensive). The color of a diamond is rated on the Gemological Institute of America (GIA) scale, from D to Z, with D being a colorless (white) diamond and Z being light yellow.
"Clarity" refers to how clear or pure the diamond is. The key terms with this C is how many imperfections the diamond has internally (called "inclusions") and externally (called "blemishes"). The GIA has also created a grading system for the clarity of a diamond. F is for Flawless, meaning that there are no imperfections and, therefore, the most expensive. IF is for Internally Flawless, meaning that there are no inclusions at a 10x magnification level. VVS1 and VVS2, VS1 and VS2 have minor inclusions with different degrees of visibility at 10x magnification. SI1 and SI2 have noticeable inclusions at 10x magnification, while I1, I2 and I3 have obvious inclusions visible to the naked eye.
"Carat" refers to the unit of weight of the diamond. One carat equals 0.20 grams, and each carat can be subdivided into 100 points. This is one case where size does matter because larger diamonds naturally occur less frequently than smaller ones.
Step Two: Ask her to marry you. Gulp! Now that you bought the perfect diamond and had it set in the perfect setting, it's burning a hole in your pocket. You can't just ask her to be your wife without some prior planning. After all, the first question that you will be asked (after, "Can I see the ring?") is "How did he propose?"
Back in the day, the groom would ask the bride's father for her hand in marriage before the actual proposal. That old tradition, while not a necessary step in the engagement process anymore, is still highly regarded. You may choose to ask her mother and father, or grandfather, but any nod toward this ritual will be well received – and stand you in good stead with the family!
When it comes to getting down on one knee, be creative! Think about what your future fiancée likes to do, or considers romantic. If she's really into football – and I mean that she had season tickets to the Giants or Jets before you entered her life – maybe get great tickets and have your question written on the jumbo screen. If she's more low key, consider a carriage ride around Central Park as the setting for your proposal. Or invite all of your friends and family to a party so they can all share in your joy, and her reaction. A lovely dinner at a wonderful restaurant with a view is always a great option.
The one caution I offer is to beware of putting the ring in something edible or drinkable, for your beloved to discover. There have been way too many stories like the Wendy's Frosty incident that lead to X-Rays instead of cheers!
If you want a truly spectacular proposal, you may want to consider hiring a professional to assist you. To find a wedding planner in your local area, go to the Association of Bridal Consultants' website, www.bridalasssn.com. Your milestone will be well remembered!
Rhonda Bassat-Rivera is a wedding planner & consultant, and the founder of West Orange-based Bride Ideas. Have a comment on this topic? Want to ask Rhonda a question? Send her an email to
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– you may appear in an upcoming column! Photos courtesy of www.elzphoto.com/
