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We do go through our neighborhoods and say who can and can not marry. We do not allow children to marry each other or adults. We do not allow brothers and sisters to marry, or fathers and daughters. We limit people's liberty for the benefit of society, and that is just. The good of society, indeed the continuation of our race and our pursuit of Liberty and Justice is predicated on children being born and raised. The best way as a society that we have been able to figure out how to do this is in a "traditional family". It is not to say that there are not situations that work, it is to say that the majority, and so therefore the continuation of the American way of life , is best secured for society by supporting traditional marriage. Lastly, NJ changing the law will not change federal law that denies them to file joint tax returns. It provides no additional benefit other than changing the legal definition of marriage. Gay marriage is not a civil rights issue, anymore than men not being able to carry children is a civil rights issue. Where do we stop though? As mentioned above, we prohibit siblings from marrying, for the benefit of society. Should we allow sisters to marry as it will do no harm, or perhaps fathers and sons??