newjerseynewsroom.com

BY CAROL ABAYA

NEWJERSEYNEWSROOM.COM

THE SANDWICH GENERATION

Medical studies have clearly shown that, regardless of age, fun positively impacts a person’s mental and physical health. Sandwich Generationers should encourage parents and other aging relatives to follow their dreams and not become a couch potato.

The following are concerns expressed by sandwich generationers and my responses.

Question: "My mother will be 80 soon and wants, as a gift, a weekend at a nearby hotel that has a spa. She wants to relax in the sauna, having a facial and massage, and 'drink champagne.' We think she’s too old for such nonsense. Please advise."

Answer: Your mother is a smart lady, and you should be guided by her. No one is too old to feel good about herself! It’s very important that everyone look forward to and then thoroughly enjoy something fun. A facial helps revitalize skin and makes you feel good about yourself. A massage helps stimulate blood circulation and the functioning of key organs.

And drinking champagne and being waited on by others is just fun.

Besides treating your mother to a spa weekend, treat yourself, too. You’ll return home in a much happier and healthier frame of mind!

Question: "My mother, 78, wants to take a cruise with her “boyfriend” who is 76. They are both healthy, but how can we convince them they’re too old to go off by themselves?"

Answer: First of all 78 now adays is not old. Earlier this year an 88-year-old friend of mine hooked up with a 83-year-old boyfriend. They are having such fun doing things together -- theater, art galleries, community events, bridge, family events and celebrations, and more -- that it would take a book to tell all. If your mother and her boyfriend are healthy and mentally alert, you shouldn’t be getting involved in the first place. It’s your mother’s business.

One the positive side, a ship provides marvelous protection for an elder and is far less tiring then other kinds of tours.

Ship staff are usually very solicitous of older people and keep an extra eye on them. There are always doctors and nurses on board, so if your mother or boyfriend get sick, help is immediately available.

Once on board they can relax and don’t have to worry about unpacking and repacking and meeting another bus or plane. At the same time, off-board sightseeing can be fascinating and on-board activities keep away boredom.

Encourage rather than discourage your mother. The last long trip my father took at age 84 involved a 10-hour plane ride.

The Sandwich Generation is reader interactive and comments and questions are welcome. Contact Carol Abaya via her website www.sandwichgeneration.com or e-mail This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it . She does not respond to comments posted here.

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