newjerseynewsroom.com

BY CAROL ABAYA

NEWJERSEYNEWSROOM.COM

THE SANDWICH GENERATION

Question: "My mother, 88, just moved in with us, and I didn’t realize just how hard of hearing she is. My two teenagers are having great difficulty communicating with her, and think she’s senile. How can they develop a better relationship with their grandmother? She’s the only one left."

Answer: Just because someone’s hearing has declined doesn’t mean the person is senile. Sit down and help your teens understand and accept the fact that your mother’s hearing problems are not deliberate and that hearing capabilities often decline with age.

In order to help them better understand this situation, have them stuff their ears with cotton. Sit around the table and have each person read something from a newspaper or book. That person should talk in a normal tone of voice. Have the others write down what that person has said. This exercise should help them better understand your mother’s problem.

Tips to help communication:

1. talk louder than you normally do;
2. reduce background noise (such as TV) which interferes with hearing
3. stand or sit in front of the person so he/she can see your lip
4. movements
5. speak slowly, in simply understood sentences
6. ask one question at a time and wait for a response before going to another point/idea. Hurling too many ideas at her at one time might confuse her.
7. allow time for your mother to clearly hear what was said and “digest”it
8. don’t interrupt while she is talking; give her a chance to
9. respond/communicate without thought interruption.
10. don’t rush to communicate; slow down and don’t appear to be rushing.

I have this problem with an 85-year-old friend of mine. When her hearing aid is not working properly, I write down what I want to say. This works well, especially in a restaurant where there is a lot of noise in the background.

Most importantly, have her professionally tested as a hearing aid could be very helpful. Technology today has improved these devices.

Question: "My aunt, 90, lives alone and has someone help her with many household chores. But basically she’s alone much of the time. Her vision is deteriorating, and we’re afraid of accidents. She’s already burned herself. Help please."

Answer: There are many tips as well as visual aids to help those with lowered vision. Many things are common sense and various devices can be purchased:

1. To avoid burns, label faucets with red tape for hot water and blue for cold. Premarking or setting optimal faucet temperature is also helpful.
2. Remove telephone cords and lamp wires from walking areas.
3. Use colored drinking glasses, cups and plates, with sharply contrasting place mats or table cloth.
4. Get a cordless phone with large numbers and program in frequently called numbers. Then she only has to hit one number instead of seven or eleven.
5. Appliances like microwaves should also have large numbers to make use easier.
6. Make sure that every couple of weeks, someone checks the food in the refrigerator and throws out old and/or already spoiled food.

The local Blind Association will have books which can help her remain independent in her own home.

Question: My father, 86, had a stroke which impacted his hearing. He loves to watch sports, but is frustrated because he misses so much.

Answer: Captioning is available in most areas. Contact your area hearing loss organization and/or cable company.

The Sandwich Generation is reader interactive. Contact Carol Abaya through her website www.sandwichgeneration.com or via e-mail This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .

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