BY DR. GILDA CARLE

SPECIAL TO NEWJERSEYNEWSROOM.COM

COMMENTARY

Question:

I tried phone sex a few years ago, and it's now become an addiction. I'll have it once or twice on the weekend, and it's a financial burden. Sadly, I enjoy the phone sex sites, not just with women, but with men as well. Do you have tips as to why I keep pursuing phone sex, and what I can do to stop?

— Addicted

Dear Addicted,

We are sexual creatures, so of course phone sex turns us on! But you’re soliciting anonymous sites because you feel inadequate with real women. After a while, the thrill of the turn-on to your genitalia alone wore off. So you upped the ante with same sex encounters.

Your wallet is shrinking, and you still feel empty. Obviously, you’re missing the emotional connection and the vital integration of your senses. To wean yourself of one-way pleasure, start to date people in the flesh. Begin slowly, with coffee and conversation. When you feel secure with one special person, the phone sex you’ve had will pale compared to its combination with a deep and sincere romance! If the phone sex is still impeding on your life or preventing you from seeking out a real relationship, then it's time for professional help.

Want Dr. Gilda to answer your relationship questions? Send them in! Check out http://www.DrGilda.com

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Dr. Gilda Carle is the relationship expert to the stars. She is a professor emerita, has written 15 books, and her latest is “Don’t Bet on the Prince!” - Second Edition. She provides advice and coaching via Skype, email and phone.