PAM LOBLEY

WWW.NEWJERSEYNEWSROOM.COM

NOW THAT'S FUNNY

The current protocol for diagnosing a lung infection is to collect a sample from the patient, use that sample to grow bacteria in a lab, and then biochemically test the sample to classify it.

What if, instead, you could just breathe on a device which would read the chemicals in your exhalations and give you your diagnosis immediately?

I think we’d all breathe a little easier.

This exciting new concept is being tested right now on mice.  Details of how this breathalyzer would work are explained on Smithsonian.com.

Researchers think this type of breathalyzer may someday be so easy and common that it could become a part of routine physical exams.  I see a whole new frontier of medicine opening up.  We will be able to diagnose people with all kinds of diseases in all kinds of situations:

You could screen people before plane rides to keep the sick ones from spreading the germs.

You could use them in schools to send the sick kids home, and to know who is faking just so they can go to the nurse to avoid math class.

Young couples dating could test each other’s breath for STDs.

Perhaps there could even be an aerosol spray that reacts with the sick persons’ breath and turns the air a color.  It would be similar to that chemical you can put into a swimming pool which turns color when someone urinates in the water.

So far, using the mice, the breathalyzers have been working well to diagnose infection.  An added plus -- the incidents of drunk driving in mice have gone way down.

***Pam Lobley writes the “Now That’s Funny” column.  Check out her blog:  Better Living Through Chaos! Follow her on twitter @plobley.