Protect valuables and assets when caring for seniors

BY CAROL ABAYA

NEWJERSEYNEWSROOM.COM

THE SANDWICH GENERATION

Question: We have hired someone to do household chores and cook for my father, 79. How can we make sure she doesn’t steal things from the house or money?

Answer: When I had to take over caring for my parents, I asked this same question to a friend of mine who owned a home care agency. She said, “lock up jewelry and silver, inventory all collectibles or family keepsakes, and don’t leave a lot of cash around.” I followed this advice and never had a problem. I also made a list of everything valuable.

Your father should have access to his money, if he is mentally capable, or have some cash on hand for his spending. Having to ask a child for money all the time can be emotionally devastating.

When my mother was very ill and incapable of handling any money, I always left $100 to $150 in an envelope in case she wanted to get something or the housekeeper needed to buy some thing for the house. The housekeeper then left the receipts in the envelope. Periodically I checked the receipts against the cash left and then replenished the cash.

I also left signed checks made out to the supermarket, so the housekeeper could do the shopping when I couldn’t. She would fill in the amount and leave the receipt in the envelope.

This system worked well. There was always money for necessary purchases, and the money would be accounted for.

You didn’t say who handles your father’s finances. I hope you have Durable Power of Attorney so you can help him as needed. As a parent’s agent you can alert the bank(s) to alert you if there seems to be unusually high amounts taken out of the account(s). One time my mother took out $15,000 without telling me.

Do be sure to have all bank accounts and assets in your father’s name only, with you or someone else having POA. DO NOT put your father’s money into joint accounts, for example you and your father! You can ask the bank to send you duplicate statements so you can track expenditures.

Just recently I heard the story of a family with two daughters and one son. The mother had put money in three separate accounts, and the amounts were uneven. One daughter received less than the other two and made a fuss about the fact that she ‘felt cheated.” By keeping all the elder’s money in his or her name only with someone having POA, family fights and resentments are eliminated. The Testamentary Will divide the assets according to the elder’s wishes.

The Sandwich Generation is reader interactive. Questions are welcome. Contact Carol Abaya via her web site www.sandwichgeneration.com or via e-mail This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it