newjerseynewsroom.com

BY SUSIE WILSON

NEWJERSEYNEWSROOM.COM

SEX MATTERS

What segment of the population has had the highest increase of HIV/AIDS?

You may find the answer impossible to believe:

Senior citizens.

Here in New Jersey, residents with HIV/AIDS aged 65 and over grew roughly 15 percent, according to the New Jersey Department of Health and Human Services. Experts attribute the rise to seniors not believing they’re at risk for HIV. Many don’t believe their partners will cheat on them, are unaware of the risks of unprotected sex, or are too embarrassed to get medical advice.

By 2015, the majority of all those living with HIV/AIDS will be 50 years and older, says the Center for Disease Control and Prevention. We’re only four years away from this statistic, and we need to implement measures now to help seniors protect themselves from contracting and passing on the virus.

Fortunately, attention to sex and seniors is being paid from some interesting directions.

Fear of Flying’s famous author Erica Jong has a new book, "Sugar in My Bowl: Real Women Write About Real Sex." This collection of short essays by various female literati reflects the power and pervasiveness of sexuality through the lifespan, including older age. In her introduction, Jong mentions that one fictional story in the book, Karen Abbott’s “Herman and Margot,” is “a tender study of geriatric infatuation” that culminates in sex.

And in her recent Times op-ed column, “Is Sex Passé?,” Jong comments about sex among seniors. She says that while sex among young women has become less important in their lives than motherhood and monogamy, sex and seniors is the “the new unmentionable”:

“You won’t find many movies or TV shows about 70-year-olds falling in love, though they may be doing it in real life,” Jong writes.

I can tell you from listening to my friends’ stories that sex is indeed happening in the real life of seniors. All around me, friends in their 70s and 80s are coupling and proud of it. Recently, I’ve been e-mailing a friend in her 80s who’s in a fairly recent relationship with a man who has pursed her quite relentlessly. She e-mailed me this week that he has asked to visit her for three weeks at her country home!

I must admit that I have not had the courage to talk directly with her about taking precautions should they have sex, but I may include them in my next e-mail, given the statistics that I’ve learned.

More attention must be paid to helping seniors recognize the risks of unprotected sex. For most, their sex education—if indeed they ever had any—was pre-HIV/AIDS. Safer sex, lubricants, or the correct way to slip on a condom have only been added to sex education courses during the last couple of decades.

One pharmaceutical company is stepping up to help seniors. Chembio Diagnostics, a New York-based developer of point-of-care diagnostic tests, is developing a new rapid home HIV test.

CEO Lawrence Siebert explains that “older people didn’t get the lessons about HIV/AIDS that younger generations have received in school. They are going to be reluctant to inform family members—especially their children—about their concerns. Rather than making seniors wait for days to get tested and additional days to get results, rapid tests exist that can give results in as little as 15 minutes.”

He says seniors can “significantly shorten the time to diagnosis, potentially decreasing the opportunity for further transmission.”

A quick home HIV test is a step in the right direction and will definitely help some seniors. But the accent needs to be on prevention of HIV transmission in the first place, not medical solutions afterwards.

We need to teach our elders how to practice safer sex. We need education in a variety of settings where seniors gather, to help them not only enjoy mutually pleasurable sexual experiences, but understand the responsibility for themselves and their partners.

Good sex education for seniors is definitely not passé. And a wonderful manual will make this task easier. "Older, Wiser, Sexually Smarter: 30 Sex Ed Lessons for Adults Only" belongs in libraries or, better still, right in the most heavily trafficked parts of adult-living communities, senior centers, hospital waiting rooms, and doctors’ offices.

The manual includes an informative, age-appropriate lesson about HIV and safer sex titled “Not Only for the Young,” by Sue Montfort, M.A.T., senior health educator for Planned Parenthood of Greater Northern New Jersey. All the essentials of safer sex are discussed: how to put on a latex condom, how to use a lubricant, and—perhaps the real key to safer sex—how to start an honest conversation with a partner about getting tested together before having sex. The lesson also includes three true stories about seniors who contracted HIV. (To find the nearest HIV testing facility, visit www.HIVtest.org or call 1-800-CDC-INFO.)

The dangers that lurk for seniors tugged at me while I was watching the British Open Golf Tournament this past weekend. As usual during sporting events aimed at men, there were many ads for the erectile dysfunction drug Viagra, but none for condoms.