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BY CAROL ABAYA
NEWJERSEYNEWSROOM.COM
THE SANDWICH GENERATION
Question: I'm 80, still drive and love my home of 40 years. Several of my friends have gone on and another moved into a retirement community near her daughter. I don't know what to do. How can I decide what's good for me?
Answer: Only you can decide after looking honestly at your lifestyle, quality of life (including health), what you do each day, what you'd like to do, and how many friends (all ages) you still have nearby.
Look at:
HEALTH PROBLEMS. Are there any that require medical oversight?
HOUSE MAINTENANCE AND REPAIRS. Does the house need major, costly repairs?SOCIALIZATION. Are you a social person and like to be around people?
Do you want to make new friends and engage in more and maybe new activities?
INDEPENDENCE. Do you want to remain independent and not have to rely on children for help?
NUTRITION. Do you still like to cook? Or you may not cook, but like to eat healthfully.
DRIVING. Is it likely you will have to stop driving in the near future and need transportation to the supermarket, doctors and activities?
LOCATION. Do you want to be closer to your children, yet remain independent?
FINANCES. Do you have enough money to hire help in your own home when you need specific tasks done or if you want live-in help?
Some retirement communities offer potential residents a week or two "visit" in a furnished apartment. You can get a feel of a residence and see if you are comfortable with having to make adjustments to your usual routine.
You need to focus on what you want out of the rest of your life and how to best achieve these desires. A family conference and visiting various alternative residences can help clarify your desires and concerns.
We had live-in help for seven years so my parents could stay in their own home. But do remember, there is no one right or wrong decision. Lifestyle and financial resources are very individual.
LIVING ALTERNATIVE CAVEATS: Today's wide range of living alternatives enable people to live worry-free and have desired services, from meals, to housekeeping, transportation, social and physical activities. Peace of mind, both for the older person and family, cannot be measured in dollars and cents.
The Sandwich Generation is reader interactive, and questions are welcome.
Contact Ms. Abaya via her web site www.sandwichgeneration.com or e-mail
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.
