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An about face about Facebook friends lost

facebooklogo010610_optBY LORI SENDER
NEWJERSEYNEWSROOM.COM

Did I really need to know that Sandee S. – one of my closest friends from high school, someone who taught me each and every syncopated word to ‘'Moondance" on the flag twirlers' bus, whom to this day I owe all knowledge of mascara application, blow-drying and the proper technique of sash belting – flew up from Florida to visit our old N.J. neighborhood ... and didn't bother to call me? If it weren't for Facebook, I would have remained blissfully unaware.

Then again, if it weren't for Facebook, she wouldn't have noticed my recent visit with Sandy C., my best friend from high school, which prompted Sandee's post saying what a great reunion it must have been. Which, to be social, I felt compelled to answer – meaning I had to go to her Facebook account (I think, anyway, still confused exactly how this all works) – and that's where I saw the dastardly deed: Sandee standing in front of her childhood home, with Paula R., whom I was mostly surprised she kept in touch with (okay, rabidly jealous), looking bright and casual, arms wrapped around each other.

We'd been mostly out of touch for the last twenty-five years, so out of touch I didn't know her youngest son was now at Princeton, again thanks to her answering fellow classmate Sandra K.'s posted question of where her son attended college (confusing, I know, who would have thought all my high school Facebook friends would be similarly named). And there it was, almost offhanded ... Princeton, as if, well, as if all our children go off to Princeton, and no big deal. Sandy C. would never post something like that, which brings to mind that just last week, during our reunion brunch, I reminded her she got 750 on her Math SAT and she honestly couldn't remember. She really was so modest, Sandy C. that is, not Sandee S.

I guess I was on a roll, and began reading up on the last six months of Sandee's life, or in Facebook lingo, her most recent two pages of posts. In the last few years she'd gone back to school for a degree as a mental health counselor specializing in overweight children, opened her own practice and seemed to be traveling quite a bit. And then, that revealing post jumped out at me.

Writing of her upcoming visit to New Jersey, she wondered if anyone might be around to get together. Apparently she hadn't dissed me, I just happened to not be on top of my Facebook account, missing her trip altogether. Which, come to think of it, is the reason I missed my latest high school reunion. And a smattering of e-vites, which after struggling to wrangle open, forgot about, possibly explaining that cold stare at Athena Restaurant last month.

So there it is, I guess I'm socially inept, at least on Facebook, and it may be affecting my popularity. Then again, Sandee was always better at it, even in 1974, without technology, simply walking the halls of our high school. But deep down, I know who my real friends are, and Facebook simply confirms it.

 

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