newjerseynewsroom.com

BY ANASTASIA MILLICKER

NEWJERSEYNEWSROOM.COM

Democratic primary challenger Vermin Supreme was welcomed, with his 17 and a half inch boot hat, at Rutgers University in New Brunswick today this time with open arms from students celebrating he arrival.

In 1991 during his run for mayor of the Eastern Seaboard, Supreme and his manager, Ed, were arrested on the College Avenue campus for trespassing into the Rutgers Student Center after Supreme did an impromptu radio interview on the college radio station.

Since then Supreme has gained momentum in his notoriety with his viral campaign.

Students played Vermin ring toss and kick the pony piñata early today on the steps of Brower Commons on the College Avenue campus. While Supreme gave out toothbrushes and revealed his energy and dental plans for the nation.

Supreme, who is running on a platform of free ponies for every American and using zombies to run turbines for energy, admitted his platform was based on promises he would not keep if elected to office.

“I know what is best for you,” he said. “I am Vermin Supreme. I am the most qualified candidate and I will lie to you…I have no intention of keeping any promises I make.”

Supreme said his campaign is based on four basics each of which he plans to improve the current status of the nation.

The first being Supreme’s approval of time travel research, although dangerous Supreme said he was behind the science.

“I am the only candidate that will fund time travel research,” Supreme said. “I will travel back in time and kill baby Hitler with my own bare hands.”

Supreme said although his plans for national healthcare, believes the gingivitis of the nation needs to be addressed to create a “sea of smiling smiles from sea to shining, shining sea.”

“Toothpaste will be a flavor unrecognizable to the human tongue,” Supreme said.

The toothpaste will be toxic when swallowed, as are most fluoride products, he said.

“I don’t know why they put it [fluoride] in the water then,” he added.

Supreme said he also plans to include flossing into American’s daily regimes.

The next plan, which has some not grinning at its science fiction perspective, is using zombies for energy by strapping them to a turbine and dangling a brain in front of them.

“It’s a government program,” Supreme said when asked how the brains would be obtained.  “We do not question such a thing… [It is probably] above your brain.”

His last basis was the pony identification system, which includes a pony mandate, he said. Although there are not enough ponies in America for all citizens, Supreme said that problem would be worked on.

Ponies will also double as a source of alternative energy, he said. Pony fecal matter will be turned into methane gas and will act as an organic fertilizer to aid the nation’s slow foods movement.

Supreme said ponies could also be used as a line of defense rather than war. He also suggested using a Manhattan project-like experiment to create exploding ponies for defense.

Ponies, however, will not fuel the economy or act as currency unless they are shrunk to about pocket size, he said.

“We cannot solve the current economic crisis on a pony equity, or borrow against that equity,” Supreme said.

Supreme has been running for president since 1992 and has become a popular meme online. In the 2008 presidential election he received 43 votes, according to the Federal Election Commission.

“I am a friendly fascist, I am tyrant that you can trust, and you should let me run your life because I know what is best for you,” Supreme said.