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TagsBY RHONDA BASSAT-RIVERA
NEWJERSEYNEWSROOM.COM
WEDDING TRENDS
Now is the time when many brides are choosing their vendors. You are researching online, in chat rooms and talking with friends who were recently married about which vendors to meet. You should narrow your list down to two or three vendors in each major category, and then come up with a list of questions that you want to ask during the initial meeting.
Selecting Vendors
When you meet your potential vendors, it is very important that you establish their excellence in the field, especially if you have no first-hand knowledge of their work.
You should ask about their education and membership in professional association, which shows their dedication to their craft. Ask to see samples of their work and thank you letters from happy clients. Almost as important is your connection with the vendor. After all, you will be spending hours with this person on your wedding day and entrusting all the details to their company. Listen to what the vendor proposes to you and decide if you are ready to move forward with that person or company.
A recent email inquiry came to my inbox, which illustrated to me the quintessentially wrong way to find a professional wedding consultant, or any wedding vendor for that matter. The bride provided me with a list of her "demands" – what specific tasks she needed carried out for her at the church and the reception site, including timing and how many people would be needed. She ended her list of approximately 13 tasks with how much she would be willing to pay for these "services."The truth of the matter here is that this bride is not looking for a wedding consultant or "day of coordinator," but rather a "Gal Friday" – someone who will do the bride's bidding, without any experience, expertise or input of her own. It is true that you are both the bride and the client, but you are seeking out experts in their field to offer their skills for your wedding day.
The vendors you are interviewing need to take your desires into account and be flexible enough to incorporate your special ideas. As the bride, you need to be able to listen to what the vendors are offering and then make a decision as to whether their services, personalities and budgets fit into your wedding dreams.
Let Your Vendors Do Their Jobs
Once you have selected your vendors, here is the tricky part. Let go! Not right away of course; make sure that your selections and wishes are clearly expressed to each vendor. Once you have communicated your expectations, however, stop stressing over each little detail! This is your wedding -- your "once in a lifetime" -- try to remember that you thoroughly vetted your vendors, and let the professionals do their job. In short, be a bride and not a micromanager!
What am I talking about? Here are a couple of examples:
Example 1 — DJA bride hires a DJ to play music during her reception. She fills out the DJ's questionnaire, identifying each important song to be played during the rituals of your reception. "Halo" by Beyonce for the newlyweds' first dance, "How Sweet It Is" by James Taylor for the cake cutting, and so on.
The bride has a meeting with her DJ about a month or so before her wedding day and goes over all her selections, types of music she does not want to hear, and everything is done. Or is it? The micromanager in her comes out and all of a sudden she has a list three pages long of every song she absolutely needs to hear during her reception. She sends her impossible list to the DJ and expects that her playlist will be played, in order, on her day.
What is wrong with this picture? If that is what the bride wanted, she should have made up a playlist on her iPod and plugged it in during the reception. However, a professional DJ will be able to "read the crowd" and play the right types of music to get everyone on the dance floor, enjoying themselves.
A reception is an organic, living, breathing celebration and one that certainly cannot be preprogrammed! The bride hired a professional and he should be allowed to really engage with the guests and create the best possible atmosphere.
Bill Reybert of Platinum Disc Jockeys, based out of Piscataway, offers his professional wisdom on the subject.
"My recommendation is to guide your DJ with your wishes," Reybert says. "Provide your DJ with examples of eras/genres of music you like as well as your favorite artists. If you would like to submit a list of songs, perhaps designate a handful as ‘MUST PLAY,' and a secondary list as ‘suggested.' "
The reason to submit these types of lists? According to Reybert, they will give your DJ a great idea of what you are looking for musically "without handcuffing him with a lengthy and over-specific play list."
Reybert cautions "you might think your list is great, but it very well might not end up working as you had envisioned and your guests' enjoyment of your wedding will be at risk. Leave the musical timing of your suggestions up to your seasoned, professional DJ for the best results."
Example 2 — Photographer
Another example is when a bride hires a photographer and then proceeds to give the photographer a lengthy list of photos, with poses, that she wants taken. As a wedding consultant, I used to provide my clients with a list of proposed photographs that needed to be taken during the wedding. After just a couple of uses, I dispensed with that list, as professional photographers have a keen eye and will take much more interesting shots when not confined to a list.
Tim Camuso of Timothy Glenn Photographers, Inc., of Ridgewood, shares his feelings on this subject.
"I feel that if a bride hands me a shot list, she has not completely placed her trust in me,'' he says. "The only shot lists that I accept are of those guests who are not wearing flowers but are just as important as those who are."
Camuso's goal is for his couple's wedding album "to be a true representation of their day. A predetermined shot list gets in the way of those beautiful spontaneous moments that are unique to them."
Camuso stresses the importance of hiring a photographer that you respect and trust.
The reason may elude a bridal couple in the throes of planning but is fundamental, according to Camuso: "Wedding photos are a family's first heirloom, something that they are willing to run into a burning building to save. Such treasured moments should not be left in the hands of a photographer who was hired just because he was the least expensive."
In closing, I leave you with this: Let your vendors to their jobs on your wedding day, so you can enjoy the most important role of all: Being a Bride!
Rhonda Bassat-Rivera is a wedding planner & consultant, and the founder of West Orange-based Bride Ideas. Have a comment on this topic? Want to ask Rhonda a question? Send her an email to This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it -- you may appear in an upcoming column!
