newjerseynewsroom.com

BY CAROL ABAYA

NEWJERSEYNEWSROOM.COM

THE SANDWICH GENERATION

(Second of two parts)

Last week The Sandwich Generation discussed anger and how it impacts life, both physical and emotional. Vicious cycles of anger are a reflection of inner conflict, which results in severe health threatening stress.

Drs. Reshimi and Mahmood Siddique in their book "How to Turn Anger Into Love," discuss how you choose to think and use that anger to benefit rather than hurt you. Their thoughts are insightful.

From a philosophical venue, the Drs. say that life is one conscious sea of energy. How this energy is used can determine health and even success or failure in life.

Some more excerpts:

"Life is a series of moments. One spiritual challenge of life is to live and enjoy each moment to the fullest extent."

"The spiritual challenge is to live each moment without being distracted by the future or our past."

Pause, think and then choose your response. "Choose a response that will be beneficial to you and others."

"Learn to express angry feelings in a peaceful way without causing resents or anger in others."

Anger management equals compassionate communication. "If during a conversation you are feeling angry, step back and reevaluate what you are saying. ... You need to choose thoughts (and words) that will bring you peace."

"Anger can teach us how to understand the viewpoint of others. It may indicate that we need to be less judgmental and more accepting of others and ourselves." This comment is very, very important.

"It is not the ‘outside' event per se that causes distress, but rather how you respond to it and your interpretation of it."

"Loving yourself means that you should not tolerate your own inner dialogue of criticism."

"If negative thoughts can cause disease, positive thoughts should heal your body."

"Every thought you have has a physical impact on your health."

Make sure anger doesn't prevent you from getting a good night's sleep.

"Your lack of sleep can be literally life-threatening and poses significant health hazards."

Lack of sleep induces irritability and more anger and you will have less ability to cope with simple workloads. Reduced productivity follows because you can't think logically and this will also impact your job.

Daily affirm your strengths and positive attributes. Believe in these new affirmations.

The Siddiques say that "if you saw your parents express anger in hurtful ways, maybe you also learned to express anger in the same way." They also say that reactive behavior is often based on subconscious beliefs about how to express anger.

The objective of the book is to have you think about how you react to events and people around you and the stress created by your perception of reality.

Remember: 75% of all doctor visits are for stress-related complaints. Stress, according to the Siddiques, comes from anger, irritations, impatience, insomnia and more.

"Balance refers to the total harmony of your soul, mind and body."

The Sandwich Generation(R) is an interactive column. Readers should send their questions to Ms. Abaya via her Web site sandwichgeneration.com or e-mail her at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it <!-- document.write( '</' ); document.write( 'span>' ); //--> This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it <!-- document.write( '</' ); document.write( 'span>' ); //--> . Questions will be answered directly or in this column. The words "The Sandwich Generation" are trademarked by Carol Abaya.

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