newjerseynewsroom.com

BY MICHAEL HAYNE

NEWJERSEYNEWSROOM.COM

COMMENTARY

Republicans suck at many things these days. They can’t legislate without consulting with Trailer Park Jesus or Brooks Brothers Jesus; they can’t scratch their ass without consulting with a guy named Grover. But if there’s one particular area of human enjoyment left that they are downright awful at, or just simply fall flat like German diver Stephen Feck, it’s humor. In order to excel at humor, you need to a) have a sense of humor, and b) be self-depreciating and outside the establishment power structure, both of which are so distant from Republicans that not even the Curiosity Rover could find them. Show me a funny conservative and I’ll see your bet with the lost continent of Atlantis, a unicorn, and Aphrodite’s Magic Girdle.

Enter Jim Roddey.

Long-time Pennsylvania GOP official Jim Roddey reportedly got a raucous reception yesterday when he labeled a supporter of President Obama as someone who is “mentally retarded.” No word yet if he fell down to mock people with cerebral palsy.

“There was a disappointment tonight. I was very embarrassed,” Roddey told the crowd at an election night party, according to the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. “I was in this parking lot and there was a man looking for a space to park, and I found a space for him. And I felt badly — he looked like he was sort of in distress. And I said, ‘Sir, here’s a place.’ And he said, ‘That’s a handicapped space.’ I said, ‘Oh, I’m so sorry, I saw that Obama sticker and I thought you were mentally retarded,’” said Roddey, reported the Huffington Post. 

Yes, anyone who would support the guy who actually killed Bin Laden, can pronounce nuclear without having a seizure, thinks gays should be able to be just as miserable as heterosexual couples, and has attempted to clean up Wall Street and the previous administration’s economic disaster over the guy who doesn’t even know what he believes day by day and can’t even tell the American electorate how he earned all of his millions by releasing all of his tax returns is most certainly mentally retarded.

The bigger question is where’s good old Spongebrain Squarehair from Alaska and all of her self-righteous, syntax-slaughtering indignation? This is a woman who after all went after a freaking cartoon over its supposed insensitivity towards mentally deficient individuals as well as unleashed her unholy caribou Barbie hell on Rahm Emanuel after he used the word retarded. Perhaps it was because the joke was made by a fellow Republican so it’s totally cool.

In short, this is what happens when politicians try to be comedians; they forget their primary purpose in life is to be liars and to kiss the electorate’s behind around reelection time. But that Palin has yet to come out against Roddey’s joke proves once again that she is nothing more than a manufactured partisan shill, who uses her special needs kid as a political prop whenever it suits her and her freak show of a family.

Michael Hayne is a comedian/VO artist/Columnist extraordinaire. Follow him on Twitter and Facebook.

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