Sen. Frank Lautenberg's long career celebrated with toaster-oven | Style | NewJerseyNewsroom.com -- Your State. Your News.

newjerseynewsroom.com

Thursday
Sep 18th
  • Login
  • Create an account
    Registration
    *
    *
    *
    *
    *
    REGISTER_REQUIRED
  • Search
  • Local Business Deals

Sen. Frank Lautenberg's long career celebrated with toaster-oven

novickJoey110311_optBY JOEY NOVICK
WHAT EXIT?
SATIRE

WASHINGTON — Sen. Frank Lautenberg passed another milestone Thursday night as he cast his 9,000th vote in the Senate, and was awarded a toaster-oven from Senate majority leader Harry Reid. According to the U.S. Senate, Lautenberg cast 9000 votes, but Hudson County officials thought that it was closer to 12,000.

“Today we honor Sen. Lautenberg with this marvelous toaster-oven manufactured by Black & Decker, an American-made product made by an American company in America. This toaster-oven should last at least throughout the end of the year. Toaster ovens offer the benefit of being able to cook food in half of the time of a conventional oven, and like a regular toaster, can be used for smaller items such as toast and bagels,” added Sen. Reid, smiling.

Lautenberg was elected in 2008 to his fifth term, something no New Jersey senator had ever done. His 9,000th vote came on final approval of the 2012 defense authorization bill, which Lautenberg supported. However, they did not factor in the time he spent as a Roman senator from 51 A.D. to 87 A.D.

Lautenberg — who, at 87, is the oldest member of the Senate — broke the record for votes cast by a New Jersey senator in September 2009 with vote No. 8,375, for which he was awarded a Sony clock-radio.

“I still have trouble setting that darn thing. Sometimes the radio goes off at 7 p.m. instead of 7 a.m. Just can’t figure it out,” said Lautenberg.

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid broke into the proceedings before the vote to praise Lautenberg’s career. His New Jersey colleague, Sen. Bob Menendez, joined in.

“I honor Sen. Lautenberg at this point in his career, and I am still waiting for my new wristwatch, which was supposed to be given to me on the occasion of my 1000th vote,” noted a somewhat petulant Sen. Bob Menendez.

Lautenberg said that his plans for celebration included in a meal of green lime Jell-O, and watching a special two-hour rerun of “Golden Girls”, followed by the "Matlock" reunion show. Asked if he had any regrets of any votes he had made over the years, the Senator replied, “ratifying the treaty set by Marcus Athony with Cleopatra, and I should not have voted against the censure resolution for Nero fiddling while Rome burned.”

Joey Novick is the Editor in Chief at www.whatexitnj.com.

ALSO BY JOEY NOVICK

Gov. Christie tells Santa to stop 'Naughty or Nice' class distinction

N.Y. Mets mathematically eliminated before start of 2012 baseball season

Truck driver wakes up with map of N.J. on his foot

Hoboken man and family looking for parking spot since April

Lt. Gov. Kim Guadagno required to yell at public employees in Gov. Christie's absence

N.J. paper money to feature Springsteen, Sinatra, and Piscopo

 
Comments (1)
1 Monday, 05 December 2011 16:28
William Strong
Peevish, pestilential petulance pervades; wit is wanting.

Add your comment

Your name:
Subject:
Comment:
Be one step ahead of financial criminals using fraud protection services.
Easily find affordable life insurance from New York Life to ensure your family is in good hands.

Follow/join us

Twitter: njnewsroom Linked In Group: 2483509