Kate Middleton: A real princess for young girls

BY SUSIE WILSON

NEWJERSEYNEWSROOM.COM

SEX MATTERS

Young girls and princesses seem to have a natural affinity for each other, and I confess to this mysterious connection myself.

My younger sister and I grew up aware of every move made by Princess Elizabeth and Princess Margaret Rose, the daughters of King George VI and Queen Elizabeth of England. The two girls were just a little older than we were (Elizabeth was born in 1926 and Margaret Rose in 1930), and we were enchanted by their clothes, hair, and especially by their cute Corgi dogs. We would pretend that we were them and lived in Buckingham Palace.

Neither of my two daughters was bitten by the princess bug. They focused their energies on their Barbie dolls. There also weren't too many royal role models for them to adore. But then the Disney Company hadn't yet taken over the commercial world of youth.

Disney took over the childhood imagination just in time for my granddaughter, who was born nine years ago. The Age of the Princess was nurtured through our media and consumer culture, but the focus was on fantasy princesses, not real ones. These were also mainly white princesses, until after much criticism, Disney created the first black princess in a starring role in the movie, The Frog Princess. (Her prince in the movie is white, so Disney still has some work to do on that aspect of diversity.)

My granddaughter and her friends seemed so beguiled and immersed in the world of fairytale princesses that I was worried about their sense of reality. To forestall any future disappointments, I said to my daughter, "I hope you tell her — gently, of course — that although she can grow up to be president, her chances of becoming a princess like the ones in the fairytales are zero."

I may have to eat my words now, because the arc of history bent last week for all princess-obsessed girls with the announcement that Kate Middleton will marry Prince William of Wales, the eldest son of Princess Diana and Prince Charles and second in line to the British throne. Now little girls can fixate upon a real, live soon-to-be-princess, not just a Disney-created one.

Kate is a good role model for young girls. She's just your everyday garden-variety young woman from a middle class family, like millions of other girls around the world. Her dad is a former British Airways officer and her mother is a former flight attendant. Her parents run a mail-order business that sells paraphernalia for children's parties.

In due course, before or after the 2011 royal wedding, Kate will be given the title of Princess (either Princess Kate or Princess Catherine, her given name). Some years from now — after the reigns of Queen Elizabeth and Prince Charles end — Kate may become Queen Catherine of England. This must be pretty heady stuff for young girls consumed with the princess culture.

Parents can find good lessons and values to discuss with their children in Kate and William's relationship. They can start with the very adult age at which they will get married: 28, and their educational statuses (both are college graduates).

The two have known each other for eight years. Many teens consider a relationship a lasting one after a scant three months. Kate and William have weathered the ups and downs of a long relationship, even breaking up for some time three years ago and then getting back together again. (Sometimes distance makes the heart grow fonder.) Kate and William have traveled together, which is also a test of togetherness that can generate lifelong memories to savor after the passions cool.

Their union also gives parents a chance to talk with their children about the financial aspects of marriage and long-term partnership, which is so often ignored in the blush of romance. Although he needn't work a day in his life, William works as a search-and-rescue helicopter pilot in the Royal Air Force. Unlike other couples, he and Kate will never have to worry about home ownership and mortgages, as his grandmother, the Queen, owns many castles around England.

My hunch is that Kate is not a virgin princess, like the ones who enliven the world of Disney. She and William have lived together for a number of years, and given their ages and the length of their relationship, it is only natural to assume they're having sex. It is good for young girls to understand that a sexual relationship is part of the courtship experience when young adults have fallen in love with each other.

After thinking about Kate Middleton, I've changed my mind. I believe it is good for young girls like my granddaughter to have a princess in their lives. I have only one caveat: their role model should be as down-to-earth, educated, experienced, intelligent, and confident as the future Princess Kate seems to be.

Susie Wilson, former executive coordinator of the Network for Family Life Education at Rutgers University's Center for Applied and Professional Psychology (now renamed Answer), is a national leader in the fight for effective sexuality and HIV/AIDS education and for prevention of adolescent pregnancy. She can be reached at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it