Newark may sell its police stations to close budget gap

BY PAM LOBLEY

NEWJERSEYNEWSROOM.COM

NOW THAT'S FUNNY

The city of Newark has an $83 million budget gap. Mayor Cory Booker is entertaining many different ideas to help close that gap, including the selling of police stations.

The plan would work like this: the Essex County Improvement Authority would buy the police stations from Newark and Newark would lease them back from the Essex agency.

I don't get how this saves money. This is like me selling my car to a friend but then leasing it back from him. Sure, I get a cash infusion, but then I have a monthly payment. And I don't hold the deed to my car anymore, someone else does.

The deal is still being worked out, and would need approval from the Newark Municipal Council, the Essex County Improvement Authority, the Essex County Board of Freeholders, and New Jersey's Local Finance Board.

Rather than this convoluted sale/leaseback program, I have a much better idea. Why not sell naming rights to each of the city's police stations?

Earlier this year we saw this same idea floated for toll plazas along Jersey's roadways. Certainly, sports arenas and theatres have been selling naming rights for years, and even stretches of highway have sponsors to keep them clean through the Adopt a Highway program.

Increasingly, taxpayers cannot be counted on to fund public programs because we taxpayers don't have jobs anymore. Corporations are the only entities with money, and they're always concerned with advertising, so this is a win-win for them.

Who wouldn't want their mug shot taken at the Kodak Precinct, where while you're getting fingerprinted, your spouse can find the latest downloads and upgrades for all her Kodak products.

Spending the night in the hoosegow could seem cold and lonely, unless it's the Downy Fabric Softener Holding Cell. Sifting through mountains of paperwork to file a complaint against a noisy neighbor could seem boring and futile, unless you're sitting in a smooth leather seat at the Saab Station House. And wouldn't we all enjoy seeing those corrupt New Jersey politicians being brought in for questioning to the Preparation H Bureau of Investigation? They know how to get to the bottom of things.

Interestingly, the Newark city council had also floated the idea of selling the Prudential Center arena, home of the New Jersey Devils. However, Newark is currently in legal dispute over $3.5 million in annual lease payments from the Devils. No sale could proceed until that is resolved, and I have several questions. First of all, why do the Devils owe $3.5 million? Are they not paying their bills? Do they need to sell their name, and perhaps become the New Jersey Devil Dogs?

And what of Prudential, already named, but possibly up for sale? Would it be renamed according to the highest bidder, or would it share the marquee with a new buyer, such as The Budweiser and Prudential Center?

If advertisers want their names linked to true heroes, they can't do better than crime fighters in one of America's toughest cities. Maybe we can even get the police officers some cool, corporate sponsored uniforms. Are you listening, Nike?

Pam Lobley writes the "Now That's Funny" column. Sign up for her mailing list at www.pamlobley.com.