Arizona shooting, abortion, and the hope of unity

BY SUSIE WILSON

NEWJERSEYNEWSROOM.COM

SEX MATTERS

The tragedy in Tucson, Arizona, may have sent chills down the spines of abortion service providers across the nation who understand too well the dangers posed by lone, armed, often mentally ill men. I thought of Dr. George Tiller, who performed late-term abortions and was gunned down in a church, when I heard about the Arizona shootings that wounded Representative Gabrielle Giffords and claimed the lives of six others, including a federal judge, a Congressional aide, and a nine-year-old girl.

The hateful talk in Arizona that may have sent 22-year-old Jared Lee Loughner over the edge — a New York Times editorial called it "a squall of fear, anger, and intolerance" — revolved around immigration, the role of government, and health care reform. But abortion never lurks far from the surface where political vitriol is heard. According to Loughner's former college classmate, he had likened a woman writing a poem about an abortion to a "terrorist."

Perhaps it's naïve to think we can minimize the struggle over abortion, but I've found something that might help us tone the rhetoric down a notch. The recent MTV special No Easy Decision is about teen girls who chose to end their unplanned pregnancies. It features one young couple, Markai and James, who are already teen parents. It is an honest film that is willing to explore all sides of what Markai calls "the toughest decision I've ever had to make."

No Easy Decision focuses on Markai and James who live together with their eight-month-old daughter. Markai's period is late, and after taking a home pregnancy test, she discovers she is pregnant again. She traces the pregnancy to missing her Depo birth control shot and admits that she and James had "not backed it up" by using a condom.

She calls a women's health clinic to discuss her choices, and a knowledgeable, patient counselor answers her questions about her options. She also consults her mother, who promises to support her and James whatever they decide.

The teens have intelligent and thoughtful conversations weighing the alternatives. In the end, they chose abortion, primarily for economic reasons. Although James has a job and a car and an apartment, they both remember their parents' struggles to support them when they were young and feel that two children would pose heavy burdens on their finances and impair their ability to raise their daughter, whom they dearly love.

James takes Markai to the clinic for the procedure, and we see him carrying her upstairs to their apartment later. James is supportive and only once does he seem to be at cross-purposes about the abortion. They are at a restaurant afterward when Markai begins to share her confused, sad feelings about the abortion. He reminds her that at six weeks just "a little ball of cells" was removed from her uterus. She fires back that this "little ball of cells" would have grown up "like her" and points to her little daughter.

The last part of No Easy Decision focuses on Markai and two other teens that chose abortion. They talk about their decisions with the TV personality Dr. Drew. He sets the stage, saying that "one in three females in America will have an abortion during their lifetime."

The audience hears the girls' reasons for choosing abortion, many of which we've heard before: fear of pregnancy, not wanting to place a baby for adoption after carrying it for nine months, and fear of disappointing their parents with news of their pregnancies.

In the end, all three agree that choosing abortion was the "toughest decision" they ever made — but the right one. Dr. Drew offers both Kleenex and counseling, and the teens hold hands as they sit on a sofa in a moment of unity.

"You are not alone," he assures them, adding that they need "to talk and cry about it." There are "no easy decisions" when it comes to abortion, he tells the audience, and he hopes that viewers will "honor this conversation."

I certainly intend to do so by urging everyone to see No Easy Decision and discuss if it helps them think differently about the issue.

Common ground about abortion is an elusive concept. I'm sure abortion opponents will criticize No Easy Decision for not featuring a teen who chose adoption or parenthood, and others may try to keep the film out of sex education classes. But those who see it will gain a deeper understanding of what it's like to choose abortion.

Paul Krugman writing in Friday's New York Times makes an arresting point about abortion.

"In a way," he says, "politics as a whole now resembles the longstanding politics of abortion — a subject that puts fundamental values at odds in which each side believes that the other side is morally in the wrong." But, he adds, "we have for the most part, managed to agree on certain ground rules in the abortion controversy: it's acceptable to express your opinion and to criticize the other side, but it's not acceptable either to engage in violence or to encourage others to do so."

I think he may be a little overly optimistic.

Yet if we're serious about toning down the heated rhetoric around abortion, then we need to see things anew. It would be a big step forward even if we simply decide that abortion is "no easy decision" for women. It would follow what President Obama meant, I think, in his recent remarks at the memorial service at University of Arizona — that "we should talk to each other in ways that heal and not in ways that wound."

Couldn't we just find a glimmer of unity about abortion as 2011 begins? I hope so.

The glimmer would honor those who were wounded or killed in Arizona on a bright, warm January morning.

Susie Wilson, former executive coordinator of the Network for Family Life Education at Rutgers University's Center for Applied and Professional Psychology (now renamed Answer), is a national leader in the fight for effective sexuality and HIV/AIDS education and for prevention of adolescent pregnancy. She can be reached at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it