NOW THAT’S FUNNY
Mother’s Day is my favorite holiday! I get love, admiration and presents. But that’s not the best part. The best part is that — unlike Thanksgiving, Christmas, kids’ birthdays, etc. — I do no advance preparation for this holiday. Everything else I do – from getting a pedicure to taking a vacation, requires weeks of list-making, budget altering, schedule coordinating and contingency plans. Mother’s Day planning is left to others, and I am free to take the day as it comes.
There are dozens of tips and ideas for the perfect Mother’s Day gift, but honestly, we mothers are a diverse bunch. We all have different ideas of “perfect”. Some of us would like breakfast in bed. I would not. It makes me feel like I have the flu.
Many families are on a budget this year, so jewelry, fancy floral arrangements and spa treatments might be out of reach. Really, though, it doesn’t take a lot to make mom feel appreciated. Here are some things my family could do that would make it a great Mother’s Day:
- Learn which clothes are dirty and which can be worn again. Trying on a pair of shorts and then deciding against them means they’re clean and can go back in the drawer. Wearing the same hoodie to school for three days in a row and then on a camping trip means it’s dirty.
- No fighting, teasing or using the sofa cushions as missiles.
- All week long, whenever dinner is put on the table, say “This looks delicious!” Say that even if it looks gross, even if the vegetables are touching the chicken, even if there is some type of sauce all over it. Then eat it.
- Stop scaring the dog when I’m on the phone.
- For my teen: clean up your room, identify what smells and get rid of it. Familiarize yourself with hangers.
- For my tween: pick up the Legos that are all over your floor. I know they look like a fierce battleground arrangement to you, but to me they look like a bunch of pieces just asking to get sucked up into the vacuum.
- Plan an activity that we all do together — perhaps a board game. During this time, though, losers will not cry, winners will not gloat, husbands will not get that tense, bulging-vein look when people take too long on their turn, no one will answer the phone, no one will play with their feet, no one will stick their feet in anyone else’s face, no one will scare the dog, no one will sing “Friday, Friday” over and over again, everyone will cooperate during clean up.
- If I decide to take a nap, don’t practice guitar, drums, or saxophone during that time.
- The best present of all is a homemade card. Just write or draw whatever you feel, and don’t correct the spelling.
- Decorate my chair. Last year my then-10-year-old son put a sign on my chair at breakfast that said “Reserved for the World’s Best Mother.” It’s embarrassing how much I loved that sign. I kept it up there for a month, until the tape lost its stickiness and the sign fell off. It’s now in my bedroom. I am never throwing that out.
- Do NOT ask “How come there’s a Mother’s Day, and a Father’s Day, but there’s no such thing as a Kid’s Day?”
Pam Lobley writes the “Now That’s Funny” column. Sign up for her mailing list at www.pamlobley.com.