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Abercrombie & Fitch to 'Jersey Shore': Stop wearing our clothes!

jerseyshore080611_optBY PAM LOBLEY
NEWJERSEYNEWSROOM.COM
NOW THAT’S FUNNY

In a new twist on product tie-ins, the clothing retailer Abercrombie and Fitch wants to pay the cast of 'Jersey Shore' NOT to wear their clothing.

Abercrombie does not want their brand to be associated with the Jersey shore folks. They have offered The Situation (Michael Sorrentino) money NOT to wear their clothes. In a statement, the clothier explained, "We are deeply concerned that Mr. Sorrentino's association with our brand could cause significant damage to our image. We understand that the show is for entertainment purposes, but believe this association is contrary to the aspirational nature of our brand, and may be distressing to many of our fans."

And, in fact, they have extended their generous payout offer to the entire cast.

One look at the Abercrombie website and you understand their point. They are working really hard to promote an image of waspy, collegiate affluence. Their models are blonde and outdoorsy looking, as if they spent summers at sailing camp before returning to Dartmouth to row crew. They dress like your future dermatologist, not your future nightclub deejay.

As usual, though, the Jersey kids are getting the last laugh here. It just keeps getting better for them. First, they get paid for drunken, sleazy behavior. They get arrested, they catfight, they sleep around – they get raises! Now, they’re getting paid for NOT doing something. We need to talk to Obama and his jobs czar about this: it’s a whole new way to grow the economy. Just pay people not to do stuff.

For instance:

  • Rap stars could pay my mother in law not to listen to their music.
  • Purina could pay Michael Vick not to use their dog food.
  • Right-Sized Smoothie should pay Governor Christie not to drink their drink.
  • Airlines could pay Gerard Depardieu not to travel on their planes.

Since jobs are scarce, and image is everything, I see a whole new industry emerging. I am a preppy middle-aged gal who likes loafers and charm bracelets. I drive slowly and carefully and NEVER text and drive. I could destroy a sports car’s image in a single afternoon on Route 80. Lamborghini, give me a call. For a low, low price, I won’t drive your cars.

Pam Lobley writes the “Now That’s Funny” column. Sign up for her mailing list at www.pamlobley.com.

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